What I Should Have Said

4

Elizabeth wasn't the least popular person in school but she wasn't necessarily captain of the cheer squad either. She was pretty well-liked. Taylor, however, wasn't the most popular but that didn't matter to Elizabeth. Everyone always questioned why Elizabeth would ever care to be friends with Taylor. But aside from the fact they basically grew up across the street from one another and had always been friendly, they never became best friends until one day when she saw Taylor's so-called 'friends' up and leave the lunch table and leave her alone. Elizabeth noticed and kept her company that day and the two quickly formed a friendship after.

Everyone thought Taylor was strange and they were all too critical of her and never cared to give her a chance. But Elizabeth did, and for Taylor that was enough. Elizabeth and Taylor were dropped off at school by Taylor's mother. "Thanks, Mrs. Swift!" Elizabeth thanked. "No problem hun." Andrea smiled. "See you, Mom." Taylor smiled and gave her mother a hug goodbye. "Have a good day you two love you!" She shouted as the girls waved goodbye and made their way into the school.

"So my dad made this new fire pit in our backyard and it's so cool, now we can make s'mores when you come over." Taylor smiled. "I'm in." Elizabeth smiled as they both laughed. "Speaking of that...want to go camping this weekend?" Taylor asked. "Camping where?" Elizabeth questioned. "In my backyard, we can pretend we live in the mountains and eat s'more all night." Taylor smiled. Elizabeth laughed, "Maybe but I'll have to ask first." Taylor nodded," Okay well, let me know." Taylor smiled as the two split ways and went to their classes.

---

Elizabeth was working on her assignment in silence. The kids around her weren't focused on their work at all and just seemed to be gossiping. "Yeah. It's weird right?" Kelly, one of the most pretentious popular girls at their school, said. "Is it true or you just think?" Mike, one of the more athletic types in their class, asked. Girls absolutely loved him but he never gave them much attention, but he definitely loved the attention.

"Well, Betty is friends with her so she should know more." Inez shrugged. They all looked over at Elizabeth. She slowly turned her head to look at them once she heard her name mentioned. "Yeah Betty, you're friends with Taylor." Kelly nodded. "And?" Elizabeth questioned slightly annoyed. "Why?" Kelly asked as the three of them laughed. Elizabeth stared at them unamused. "She's just...weird." Kelly shrugged. "And you're annoying, what's your point?" Elizabeth replied. Mike and Inez looked at one another shocked and tried not to laugh. Kelly stared her down and sat back in her chair with her arms crossed.

"I heard she likes girls." Inez whispered.

"Ew." Kelly cringed.

"How do you know?" Mike asked.

Elizabeth stayed silent and tried not to pay them any mind but she couldn't help but listen. "Yeah someone was saying she doesn't even really like boys" Inez nodded. "My parents say that's wrong. It's gross imagine liking another girl?" Kelly added. Elizabeth stayed silent. She didn't really understand. Growing up she always knew girls like boys and boys like girls, at least that's what she was always told. But she never understood what the problem was when people spoke about their dislike of a man loving a man or a woman loving a woman. Her parents never talked much about it but she figured that's what love was, loving someone unapologetically. But it was conversations like this that always confused her.

"Why do you care about her business? Can't you mind your own?" Elizabeth glared over at the three. "Well does she?" Inez asked. "No. Leave her alone and stop talking crap about her." Elizabeth snapped back. "Why is she your girlfriend?" Kelly laughed. Elizabeth turned red and shot Kelly a death stare. "I don't know why you're talking, you can't even get a boyfriend." Elizabeth retorted.

Mike burst into laughter as Kelly stared at her in shock. "Hey settle down!" Their teacher shouted. They all settled in their seats and went back to doing their work in silence. Elizabeth was filled with anger and confusion. She didn't completely understand why. That was the worst part.

---

Elizabeth was helping her mother with dinner in the kitchen. The conversation with her classmates still remained stuck and replaying in her head. "Thanks for helping baby." Her mother smiled as they finished the last food items. Elizabeth leaned against the counter and observed her mother. "Mom, can I ask you something?" She asked. Her mother looked over at her as she cleaned up the mess of dishes from their cooking. "Sure baby what's on your mind?" She asked.

"Why do people say mean things about boys who like boys and girls who like girls?" She asked. Her mother froze and turned back to look at her daughter. She shut off the running water and dried her hands. "Where is this coming from?" Her mother asked. Elizabeth slightly hesitated, "Some kids in my class were starting rumors about this one kid at school." She explained. "Like what?" Her mother asked. "They were saying that they think this kid might like other people like them and they were calling it disgusting and wrong. But if it's just love, why is it wrong?" Elizabeth asked.

Her mother stood silent and thought for a moment. "Well, baby..." She hesitated," We're taught that love is between a man and woman only and any other kind is...wrong."

"But I love you?" Elizabeth questioned.

"But that's a different kind of love sweetie."

"I thought love was just about caring about another person, why is it different?" She asked.

Her mother struggled to explain and find the words. Her daughter raised a fair point. "Well, it's a deeper...intimate kind of love."

"But why is it wrong that people who are like that care about another person too? Why can't they care about each other like moms and dads do?" Elizabeth questioned.

"Honey, it's wrong. Men and women have to be together so they can continue to make beautiful babies like you." Her mother replied and lightly pinched her daughter's cheek.

"But what about the men and women who don't want a man or woman? They're just supposed to be with people they don't really love?" Elizabeth asked.

"That's how it has to be." Her mother shrugged.

"But why would do that instead of being happy?"

Her mother remained silent.

"It doesn't seem nice that people have to force themselves to be happy with someone they don't really love."

Her mother looked over at her, "It's dangerous for them baby."

"Why?"

Her mother took a deep breath, "Sometimes people like that...are killed...sometimes worse."

Elizabeth looked at her horrified, "Just because they love another person?"

"Because society believes it's wrong. So it's very difficult for people like that to survive."

Elizabeth was speechless. She couldn't understand. She had been taught that love was about the feelings you have when you care deeply for another person. She felt like she didn't even know what love was anymore. She thought love was supposed to be unconditional, yet someone has to love under certain conditions? It didn't make sense.