No Strings Attached

Chapter Four

Jayden sighed roughly, rubbing the palm of his hand across his chin uncomfortably, “By the time you knew, maybe, but trust me, man, that shit was anything but easy!” He laughed without humour, “Opening up to Tori was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life, I’m still nowhere near good enough for her ... It was completely different to you guys.”

“I’ll agree with you there,” Nate drawled, “If I had my way she’d be shacked up with a politician ... the kind of bloke that didn’t even know where his cock was, let alone how to fucking use it you smug prick.”

Jayden chuckled along with Nate, shoving him roughly before retreating back into his head again, “I’d have killed him,” he muttered, “I can’t stand to even laugh about it ...”

Nate quickly sobered, “Tell me about it. But, I just ... fuck I don’t know what to do anymore ... we should be okay by now ...”

“You don’t know that, there’s no fucking rule book, it’s just that ... fuck, man, she’s had so much to deal with. You can’t expect her to just,” he snapped his fingers in the air softly, “Be fixed. Shannon isn’t Tori, Nate, she’s not you and she’s not me either. I had it kind of rough, I hated Tommy so much I wanted him dead – I knew every second of every day that he was with me that he was a prick. And I hated him for it.” He inhaled deeply, rubbing the palm of his hand over the nape of his neck nervously, “But Shannon didn’t know any of that, not really, she was never really looking for the evidence - she was just living in it. He used her over and over, but in a different way, and it will have fucked her up big style, because who knows the difference between sex and love at that age anyway? She would’ve convinced herself it was just... normal, I guess. And then ...”

Nate knew what Jayden was trying to say to him, he didn’t want to say it out loud, but if he didn’t, it would hang out there in the air between them tormenting him, “For four years she thought I’d done the same thing ...”

Jay never said it out loud, but his ice blue eyes, glinting with concern, completely agreed.

“I screwed up big style, didn’t I?”

“I’m no guru,” Jayden started, “But I’m guessing – if someone comes running from you like she just did – then there’s still something there, somewhere, you just have to work out how to get to it, man. You’ve got history, sometimes, when I watch her with Tori, there’s so much I don’t think we even know about, Shannon’s  been through so much, you just have to be patient – start from scratch if you have to.”

“You sound like Dear Deirdre,” Nate grumbled uncomfortably.

“Fuck you, man, I’m trying to help!”

“I know, I know,” he conceded softly, running his hand over the short stubble on his head, and exhaling a breath he hadn’t even realised he’d been holding, “I just feel so fucking ... out of control.  I hate it man, I’m sorry.”

Jay didn’t say a word, he knew exactly what Nate was feeling ... except he didn’t. Because Nate was deep into the BDSM lifestyle, Jayden had only ever really played around with the power, but Nate lived by it – mind, body and soul.

Around the club circuit, he was the dominant that women went to in order to be broken down, to face their deepest, darkest secrets. Definitely not like Jayden, the man you went to for a light spanking, and a Cosmo afterwards. Or, used to, obviously. He couldn’t even look at another woman now that he had his angel under his wing.

And they’d not even really played around recently, what with the baby, and all the shit they’d dealt with, they hadn’t needed to. He loved her so completely, that he wasn’t even sure he needed all those props and games anymore – he just needed Tori, at his side where she belonged, and he was happy.

There was no way on earth that Nate would be happy with that.

Being with Nate properly could only mean one thing for Shannon – she’d have to look inside at her darkest sides, her darkest secrets, face every fucking fear she’d ever harboured and break it down.

She’d have to pull every bit of herself apart before she made it to the first fucking orgasm.

And by the set of his angular jaw, the muscles protruding from the hollows in his sharp cheekbones, and just the very fact that he was Nate, and he would make sure he got what he wanted, then there wasn’t a single thing she could do to stop it.