Dandelion Awards 2020

🌆GENERAL FICTION RESULTS🌆

3. gril18 - Hunter's Mail
Title - 15 - 15
Book Cover - 10 - 9
Blurb/Description - 10 - 8
Characters - 24 - 19
Originality/Creativity - 10 - 8
Writing Style - 28 - 25.5
Total Score - 97% - 84.5%
OVERALL SCORE = 90.75%

FEEDBACK;
I wonder how will the journey of the main character being hunter. Definitely a general fiction story! Cover looks so sexy and romantic. Nice! Cover states good erotic scenes! That's what I can see through the cover. Love the fire of how impactful the words are and rhyme dude! Haha. This is so nice. Exciting, I though Krypto would be one of the main, turns out that it's really 'Hunter' the killer. Interesting phase and the introduction of the first three chapters, including intro the first victim and the killer (who's actually the main?) haha. Love the way it was narrated, nice description, clean and humorous as well. Narration is really good! I love it!

Feedback:
At first, I was curious with the title. It caught my attention right away! Then after reading your book description, mas lalo akong na-curious sa nilalaman ng kuwento. Actually, this isn't so bad for a story. May content talaga siya at hindi basta naisulat lang. I commend you for that. The only thing that bothered me is the main conflict since first five chapters lang ang required sa amin na basahin. Daming tanong sa isip ko after reading the first five chapters: What was Hunter's motive to kill their victims after having sex with them? Why do they need to pleasure themselves first kung eventually, papatayin din nila ang biktima nila? And since this is not the first story I've read that has this kind of plot, I'm guessing na it's for revenge? Something that was connected with their past. In terms of narration, maayos naman siya. You have a deep sense in using our language and again, good job for that. The only advice I could give lang siguro is in terms of changing point of views. Considering that Hunter, being the main character, mas effective kung siya na mismo ang gawin mong narrator ng buong kuwento. In that sense, mas malinaw. In terms of character build up naman, siguro mas naghahanap pa ako ng conviction sa mains. I mean, their purpose within the story was clear enough pero siguro nakulangan lang ako since limang chapters pa lang naman. Another thing is the usage of the words. I would like to encourage you to search for more metaphors in describing such things like the male's private part and so. In that sense, hindi siya redundant. Also, in terms of using the girl's POV... Mas mainam kung lagyan mo ng feminine touch. But overall, this is a great story! Good job and good luck! Will definitely read this until the end.

4. penscanwrite - President's Forgotten Wife
Title - 14 - 15
Book Cover - 10 - 9
Blurb/Description - 10 - 9
Characters - 23 - 20
Originality/Creativity - 10 - 8.5
Writing Style - 27 - 19
Total Score - 94% - 80.5%
OVERALL SCORE = 87.25%

FEEDBACK;
Anomalously intriguing. The title got me curious. Font looks melodramatic and the smiling woman in a wedding dress contradicts it, nice! Whoa! This kind of blurbs would really compel a reader. It titillates excitement. Love the main characters. Their sacrifices are worth the read. Eisen is struggling emotional and physical and as Jade as well for pretending. Typical through - pretend wife but this one was drizzled some peculiar scenes and it's not cringe but pitiful at times. Feel bad about Eisen. Love it! Most of the men I read in WP is superior who seldom gets rejection and Eisen proves that being weak is appealing as well. First chapters are really good. Love how hateful Eisen at first, bet he'll love her next chapters.

Feedback:
This is a nice story. Maagang naiparating ang main conflict which is a good thing. Plus, I commend you for using the third person's point of view since medyo challenging nga naman ang writing voice ng lalaking
character. I love the cover but I think it would be more convincing to include Eisen in the cover since siya ang male protagonist then just emphasize Jade/Alicia on the bigger picture. Also, gusto ko rin ang character build-up mo. Both Eisen and Jade have strong characterization and that's a good point. On the other hand, here are some of the things that needs to be improved: 1. Be careful in using such words. Make sure they don't overlap each other. For example: "na rin" not "narin"; "lalaki" not "lalake"; "sa kanya" not "sakanya", and so on. 2. Maging maingat din sa paggamit ng wastong mga bantas. Make sure you know when to use a period or comma. 3. Be mindful din sa paggamit ng proper conjunctions. I know that it could be quite tricky sometimes pero don't worry, a little proofreading will do. Overall, this novel has potential. You just need a little polishing in terms of narration and some words as well. Ngayon pa lang, binabati na kita! Keep writing my dear and never stop aiming for your dreams as a writer.