Big Egos (an ego oneshot book)

Duck (Yancy Fluff)

It's not like the Iplier Manor was a predictable place to begin with. Each ego with their unique abilities, wants and personalities mixed together to create messes and situations no one expected.

So to be quite honest, Yancy had no clue why he was surprised when Illinois slipped into his room, followed by Bing, who had a duck in his arms.

However, Yancy couldn't help but stare dumbly at the seemingly content creature sitting in Bing's arms as Illinois looked out the door, glancing both ways as if to check if anyone had seen him and Bing, and closing the door.

Ah. So they were hiding the thing.

Illinois grinned at Yancy "You love us, right?" Obviously sucking up to Yancy for a favor.

"Depends, who youse hidin' the duck from?"

"Dark" Bing said, earning a punch in the arm from Illinois. Of course, Bing just snickered, unable to feel it. But it did startle the half-asleep bird awake with a small squawk, to which Bing quickly responded by petting the duck to calm it down.

"We aren't hiding it exactly" Illinois countered. "Just uh... Not letting Dark know about it till he cools off from our last prank"

"That's called hidin' it' ' Yancy countered, raising an eyebrow.

"Okay fine we need you to help hide Todd for a week or so." Illinois said, obviously getting a little desperate. To be honest it was kinda funny. He could even see Bing brainstorming how to get Yancy to agree.

"Todd? Really?" Yancy asked with a small snicker. The duck really was cute. Todd had already calmed back down and his eyes were only half open. "What's even the end goal here?"

"We just fell in love with this lil guy but we know Dark will say no if we ask to keep him" Bing said "Especially since he hasn't been too happy since our last prank that damaged his favorite suit. Sooo we figured since you're the golden child-"

Yancy snorted softly at that. Despite being a convicted murderer, somehow it was true. He was the one who got on Dark's bad side the least.

Bing continued "And you said you were really good at sneaking in contraband in prison, we figured you'd be the best person to take care of Todd while we try to sugarcoat Dark"

"There is a huge difference between sneaking a shank or some snacks, and hiding a duck. What's in it for me?"

"Are you kidding me? A pet duck. What more could you want?" Illinois asked, clearly super excited about the idea of a duck being around.

It was honestly adorable to see Illinois like this. Yancy would never admit it, but that's what made him give in at the end.

"Fine, fine, I'll watch the duck."

Illinois pumped his fist in the air in a small act of celebration, and Bing handed Yancy the duck.

"You're the best, we owe you," Illinois said.

"Youse really do," Yancy said, as he gently took the bird. Though he couldn't lie, the idea of having a pet duck was really starting to grow on him.

—

Yeah no this was a lot harder than hiding a box of cigarettes in prison. Keeping the thing quiet and content, sneaking it outside enough for it to stay healthy and happy, making up lies as to why he needed so many vegetables. Not to mention the duck had grown very fond of ice water, so if he didn't keep a glass of ice and water on hand at all times Todd started throwing a tantrum.

Yancy sat beside Todd, who was sitting on one of his pillows, and held out a glass of ice water he had just gotten from downstairs, to which the duck instantly helped himself too.

"There, youse happy? Youse super spoiled, youses know that right? And it's only been a few days"

The duck did not care. Todd was too focused on the ice to care about Yancy's complaining, even if he could know what he was saying.

That's when Yancy heard a high pitch ringing. The sound that accompanied Dark wherever he went, which the egos had affectionately nicknamed 'the snitch' since it always 'snitched' on the fact that Dark was near, giving them time to cover up any mischief they've been up to just before Dark came in.

This was one of the rare moments that Yancy actually understood why it was such a lifesaver for the pranksters. He quickly set aside the cup and picked up the duck, rushing to his closet, and setting the duck in a bin that had a makeshift nest of pillows and blankets. He shut the closet, hoping the duck would stay quiet by some miracle.

He heard a knock at his door. Yancy glanced over his room one more time hoping that he had cleaned up well enough earlier today and Dark wouldn't see anything off.

"Come in!" he called, knowing any more delay would be suspicious.

Dark opened the door "I'm just checking on you. Me and some others noticed you've been in your room more then usual"

Typically that would be touching. Dark really was comparable to a good dad when he wanted. However right now, this was really an inconvenience.

"Yeah no I'm fine. Promise. Everythin's great"

Dark raised a brow, obviously not sold, "Is that so? Yancy you do know you can talk to us if something is wrong, right?"

"Yeah, of course I do." Yancy said, maybe a little too quickly but he was unsure if Dark picked up on that or not.

Dark's eyes drifted to Yancy's bed before his eyes locked on a spot. "Is that a feather?"

Yancy quickly thought up some excuse "Uh, yeah. I found a pretty feather in the garden the other day. Thought I'd keep it"

"I see. Well, that's not exactly sanitary. I'd suggest at least getting it off of your bed."

"Yeah good point" Yancy said, quickly picking up the feather, hoping just nodding along could get Darkout faster. Any moment now Todd might decide he wasn't getting enough attention and throw a fit.

Dark watched Yancy for another moment before saying "I suppose I'll leave you alone for now. Try not to isolate too much" he said, before heading out.

That was too close

—

Yancy had to admit he was very attached to Todd by now. Illinois and Bing had decided to finally try to convince Dark today. And Yancy could be lying if he said he wasn't nervous. It had only been a week since Bing and Illinois got him involved with this whole mess but Yancy couldn't imagine not having the little dramatic bird around all the time at this point.

They were talking to Dark, and Yancy had no clue if it was going well. He didn't know what they were saying and how Dark was reacting. So he just pet Todd, hoping he wouldn't have to say goodbye in an hour or two.

Eventually he heard them come up to his room. He didn't bother to hide the duck this time, of course.

Illinois opened the door "I promise the little guy is a sweetheart. Todd and Yancy are like best of friends now" He was saying.

Dark rounded the corner and looked at Yancy, who was holding the duck in his lap as he pet it. Darks expression was... unreadable but that was fairly common. At least it meant he wasn't livid... probably.

The silence was thick for a moment. A staring contest between Yancy and Dark. Illinois and Bing watching nervously. The only person who seemed unaware of the stakes and uninterested was of course, Todd. Who had decided he had gone enough time without ice water.

He made a squawk at Yancy craning his neck to look back at him as if asking for it before throwing a tantrum.

Yancy had to break the eye contact to grab the glass beside the bed and give it to the duck so the thing wouldn't throw a fit.

That seemed to amuse Dark just a little. "So, you've been taking care of... 'Todd' all week?"

Yancy nodded "Yeah. He really is a sweet duck. Surprisingly well-behaved for a duck found outside" He said. Did they really have a shot?

"And Illinois and Bing roped you into this?"

"Uh... more or less but he's really grown on me," Yancy said, getting a little nervous with these questions now

"I suppose that settles it" Dark said as everyone watched him with anticipation for his answer. "Yancy, you can keep Todd"

Illinois whined, "Wait Yancy gets to keep the duck?"

"You two made him do all the work, no? Better start helping take care of the duck so that he'll consider sharing" Dark said, giving a small nod to all of them before leaving.

Yancy let out a laugh of both relief, and amusement to Darks response. It was going to be great, having Todd around.

Getting a pet duck really wasn't on his to-do list, but he guessed some of the best things aren't. Like a duck named Todd.

Authors Note: I recently wrote a Magnus Archives and Actor Mark crossover. It's a 2 part oneshot thing. But I know that crossover is super specific, so I'm not sure if I'm gonna post it here or not. Let me know if you're interested!