STOP ADDING THIS TO YOUR READING LISTS FULL OF SMUT THIS ISNT SMUT STOP IT

silvercandle incorrect quotes!!!!!!

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Candle: If I die, you can have what little I own.
Silver: Wait. What do you mean "if" you die?
Candle: My unending existence is fuelled by pure spite, that of which the painful experiences of life have rendered me full.
Silver:
Silver: *Sighs* Let me call your therapist again.

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Silver: And then they ran into my knife. They ran into my knife ten times.
Candle: You mean you stabbed them?
Silver: They ran into my knife.

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Silver: I wish I could help you, but I shorn't.
Candle: Silver, please!
Silver: What part of shorn't don't you understand?

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Silver: If you could guess, how many brain cells do you have?
Candle: Dorito's cool ranch.
Silver:
Silver: I'm just gonna assume zero for now.
Candle: I love that song.

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Candle: Sorry I'm late, I was doing stuff.
Silver: YOU PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!

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Silver: Don't go to the kitchen.
Candle: Why?
Silver: I saw a spider.
Candle: Well, did you kill it?
Silver: It has 8 arms and I only have 2, it's not fair...

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Silver: I'm very scary.
Candle: You're about as scary as a wet kitten.
Silver: Wet kittens are cute, at least I've got that going for me.
Candle: And small.
Silver:
Silver: ...Yeah, yeah. I guess.

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Silver, pointing a camera at Candle: There she is, our sweet baby.
Candle, holding a cigarette and a beer: What-?

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Silver: sSSSHIT- I BURNT MY LIP-
Candle: ...Why the fuck would you even drink coffee with a METAL STRAW in the FIRST PLACE??
Silver: BECAUSE WE WERE OUT OF THE PLASTIC ONES!

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Silver: I think it's time I get my life in order.
Candle, narrating: But they did not get their life in order. In fact, they got drunk last night and fought a raccoon.

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Silver: You're giving me a sticker?
Candle: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying "me-wow!"
Silver: I'm not a preschooler.
Candle: Fine, I'll take it back-
Silver: I earned this, back off!

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Candle: Look, Silver, it's the third time this week you had a mental breakdown and its Monday.

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Silver, admiring a sleeping Candle: You're so cute.
Candle, sleepily: I could beat your ass.
Silver, lovingly: I know.

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Silver: What are you in the mood for?
Candle: World domination.
Silver: That's a bit ambitious.
Candle: You are my world.
Silver: Aww...
Candle:
Silver:
Candle:
Silver: OH.

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*III Episode 4*
Candle: Silver, I sense hostility.
Silver: Good, because I hate you.

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Silver: Hey guys, today Candle pushed me, so I'm starting a kickstarter to put them down.
Silver: The benefits of killing them are that I would get pushed way less.

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Silver: That's illegal, right?
Candle: Why do you care? Are you a fucking cop?
Silver: No-
Candle: Then shut the fuck up.