Heartbroken

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Danielle:

The line was silent for a few seconds. I could feel the atmosphere thicken. Why? What was going on in her mind? I wanted to know desperately.


Haerin:

My first assumption was that I misunderstood her words. So I asked her again.

"You're going out with Yeonjun?"

"Uh, yeah...what do you think?"

I didn't answer her.

"As in dating?" I fought back my tears but I could feel my voice shaking.

"Yeah, I guess like that...Are you okay?"

"What? Yeah I'm great! That's amazing, I'm so happy for you Dani"

I couldn't bear it any longer. I couldn't bear to let her words tear me into pieces, for my hope to be shattered. It's my fault though. How could I be so stupid. So hopeless. So worthless. My heart throbbed. I couldn't keep it to myself.

"I-I have to get something, see you tomorrow"

With that I hung up and dropped to the floor of my room. My head hung down looking at the wooden flooring. At that moment I let my tears fall. Tears I thought I would never cry. How foolish I was. I didn't think it would hurt like this. It's just love. Why does it hurt?


Danielle:

The morning of the next day had arrived. I would walk into school slightly different. I would walk in as someone who had a boyfriend? No, I shouldn't think so fast. We were only going out.

Last night after Haerin hung up I felt it wasn't how it always was. She said she was happy but I noticed the slight shaking in her voice. She seemed patient at first but was quick to end the call. I notice these things about you, Haerin. Just tell me what's bothering you.


1 week later

Haerin:

I lay on my back facing the ceiling of my room. Danielle's date was today. I wondered how it would go. How it would go. A small tear started to form at the corner of my eyes. I wiped them away aggressively. I'm happy for her. I'm happy. She's my friend. I'm so stupid. I can't love a girl. She doesn't love me. Why am I like this? I shut my eyes and drifted away into my fantasies.

By the time I opened them again, It was undoubtedly dark outside. I patted around my bed for my phone and checked the time. 7:24. She should have finished by now. I thought about calling her but my finger stopped before hitting the button. I shouldn't do this. She isn't thinking of me now. I turned off my phone and chucked it to the side of my bed.

At that moment I could hear my familiar ringtone. It was Danielle. She was thinking of me? I accepted and hit the speakerphone button before rolling over to face the ceiling again.

"Hey, how did it go?", I asked

"Oh, it was good I guess"

"Anything else you want to add?" I almost laughed but it wouldn't come out.

"I actually wasn't calling about the date Haerin"

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