1611 (Chaennie Short Story Collection)

Love Potion #9

SUMMARY:

Somewhere out there, Jennie's True Love is waiting to be found, and Jisoo is determined to help Jennie find her. She arrives one day bearing a love potion that she is sure is going to work... despite the fact that her potions have failed - spectacularly - the previous eight times. Is it possible this time might be different?

WORDS:

5170

BY:

eternaleponine

***

Jennie woke up to a disturbance in the Force and a tiny bottle filled with a glittering purple liquid tick-tocking in front of her face. "Noooo..." she groaned, pulling her pillow over her head and pressing it as hard as she could.

"Good morning to you, too!" Jisoo said, her voice at least an octave too high so it sliced right through the down-alternative Jennie would have shoved all the way into her ears if she could have. Or better yet, in her cousin's mouth, or...

The rest of the thought was driven from her head, and the air from her lungs, when Jisoo's bony ass landed square on her kidneys. Jisoo squirmed a little for good measure, until Jennie was forced to unearth herself from her blanket cave to shove her off.

Jisoo beamed. "Excellent! Now that you're awake... I've got it."

"Got what?" Jennie asked, as if she didn't know. As if Jisoo's incursions on her personal space weren't also incursions into her personal life... or lack thereof. At least according to her increasingly concerned circle of aunties, who seemed to take her ongoing status as a SWF (Single Witch Female) as a personal affront. One that they, with Jisoo as their minion, were determined to fix.

"I'm glad you asked," Jisoo said, brandishing the bottle again. "Love Potion #9."

"No," Jennie said. "Nope. Uh-uh. No way. Absolutely not. Nein, nyet, non." She reached for any other languages she might have tucked away in the back of her mind but came up blank.

"Why not?" Jisoo asked. "It's a sure thing. A slam dunk. Foolproof. Absolutely guaranteed to work or your money back!"

Jennie snorted, shoving the tangled waves of her hair back out of her face. "My money back? You think I'm going to pay you? You would have to pay me to drink that stuff, or dab it behind my ears, or whatever it is I'm supposed to do with it, and even then I wouldn't take it!"

"Why not?" Jisoo wheedled. "I've been working on it for months! A tweak here, an adjustment there, a pinch less of this and a sprinkle more of that... I know I've got it right this time!"

"That's what you said the last eight times," Jennie pointed out.

"Seven," Jisoo corrected. "Technically. You didn't fight me on the first one. But anyway... you know what they say! Nineth time's a charm!"

"No one says that," Jennie said flatly. "And if 'they'," she had to yank her hand free of the snarl of hair it had tangled in to shape air quotes around the word, "do, then I'd like to meet 'them' and tell 'them' exactly where they can shove it, and their potions!"

"And their little dog, too," Jisoo snickered.

Jennie kicked her through the blankets. "You're not funny."