𝑩𝑬𝑯𝑰𝑵𝑫 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑪𝑨𝑴𝑬𝑹𝑨𝑺 | 𝗙𝗟𝗢𝗥𝗔 𝗧𝗢𝗠𝗘𝗜 is afraid to get attached to new people and enter into relationships, however, after meeting Jude her thoughts begin to change little by little.
𝗔𝗙𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗩𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗛𝗘𝗥 𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗨𝗠...
I see her getting up, tying the yoke around her waist and following me towards the hotel. It was getting dark by the time we finished recording, and all the while, I didn't even touch my cell phone. I didn't know if I was more anxious to get it and deny everything to finally be at peace, or to flush it down the toilet. Which wouldn't be a bad idea.
Sometimes I just wanted to come clean, without fear of damaging Jude's life, because it wouldn't just be reporters falling all over him, but Karina and Eduardo as well. But one day I'll be able to, I know that.
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Running away. This is a word I have always hated. I always preferred to face and tackle my problems head on rather than run away from them. The problem was that this was the last thing I was doing lately.
My cell phone was still exploding with messages. Some were asking where I was or if I was okay, and the others just wanted to know "Is it true what that page posted?" If I hadn't swiped my eye so quickly I would have been able to read what at least one of Karina's fifteen messages said on my Instagram. But I didn't have to read to make sure that none of them were an apology, or anything like that.
How long will it be like this? Until when will they treat me like a character that was created to entertain their lives? Sometimes I wish I hadn't been born.
I rolled over in bed with my cell phone on the same empty page, the typing bar blinking several times. Waiting for me to type something, but I didn't know what to say. "Yes people, I'm dating, now can you leave me alone?" No, no. That is the last alternative, but it is still the first one I would choose to follow.
The music in my headphones prevented me from hearing anything but my thoughts. I lay in bed, at rock bottom with no words to describe how I felt, while Taylor Swift's "Shake it off" tried to cheer me up. Even that didn't work anymore.
I took a deep breath and started typing some words that could mask some of the situation. Lies and more lies. Some things were true, but most were just things they didn't want to hear. And they certainly didn't want to hear.
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I turned off the notifications button and dropped the phone on the pillow next to me with the headset still plugged in, changing the music. I heard the beginning of the instrumental from "Out of the woods" playing. I covered my face with the pillow suppressing a scream that I had wanted to give a long, long time ago. I continued with the pillow on my face relaxing my body and immersing myself in the music, even though it definitely wasn't the best for comfort at the moment.
"And I remember thinking
Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods?
Are we in the clear yet? Are we in the clear yet? Are we in the clear yet? In the clear yet? Good"
No, we both are not out of the woods, and we won't be any time soon. Of that I am sure.
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The next chapter is ready!! I'll bring it today, I think.
