Back Into the World

Feelings

*Clayton's POV*

"Will," I said, "I need to talk to you."

My gaze had snapped away from Charlotte and the small staring contest we had been having. Her topaz orbs had locked with mine, and I hadn't been able to look away. Something had passed between us, a small crackle of energy. But it was gone within a moment, and then I was looking at Will.

I stood from my place and gestured with my head that we move away from the table. He shrugged, squeezing Charlotte's hand before dropping it. I caught the movement with a little turn of my stomach, then cursed myself. I shouldn't feel this way. Charlotte was a teacher's pet, almost the exact opposite of the girl I'd go for.

"So," Will was saying as my focus returned to him. "Why did you drag me here?"

I rolled my eyes and folded my arms across my chest. "Will," I said, "look. I know you like her, but I don't think Charlotte is really the girl for you."

A cold look flashed across Will's face. "What the fuck, Clay?" I shrugged, unfolding my arms and sliding my hands into my pockets. "First off, you don't get to decide who I like. And second, Charlotte is definitely the girl for me. So stop being selfish and jealous."

My eyes widened. "Jealous? You think I'm jealous?" I asked incredulously. It had never occurred to be that I might be jealous. But was I? "Charlotte is a stuck up bitch. And you think I'm jealous of you? Never."

"Glad we've got that sorted, then." He shoved me out of the way and stormed back to the table where Charlotte was still standing awkwardly, watching the two of us with her head cocked to the side, eyes full of curiosity.

Charlotte said something inaudible to Will while he looked over his shoulder at me —standing there like a loser — a friendly smile plastered to his face. But his eyes said everything. Some part of him hated me now.

My best friend hated me.

* * *

I followed them to their next class, which just happened to be one with me. I sat down in the row behind them, my heart still aching. Will had not looked at me once and was purposely ignoring me. My hand clenched and unclenched every few seconds.

There was just something in watching her. Watching her cheeks turn pink and her shy little smile as she turned towards Will and laughed. Watching her talk to easily with Will. Laughing at his horrible jokes, and just being happy.

The feeling I was experiencing now was different. I had never felt this way before. My chest felt heavy and hollow. My breath became quick and uneven. My heart rate sped.

I wanted to replace Will. I wanted to be the one to make her laugh. I wanted to be the one to make her smile. I craved her touch, longing to know what it would be like to feel her warm, gentle touch. To feel her skin, her lips, her body, pressing against mine, moving with mine.

I was disgusted by this feeling. This...this was a feeling I had never had to deal with before. It was a new emotion, one that made my insides twist and my head cloud with horrible and satisfying thoughts. Though I had never felt this emotion before, I knew exactly what it was. One word.

Jealousy.

I slammed my hand on the table, earning some confused looks from my classmates and a death glare from my teacher. I smiled guiltily and looked down. The look I had received from Will had pierced my heart.

* * *

At the end of school Charlotte had somehow managed to sneak away from Will and work her way through the throng of students to me. "Clayton," she said as she reached me.