Happens to be Zhang

chapter 5

Xiaochen wipes the fogged glass, leaving a slash in its wake. His wet hair sticks to his eyes, faux tears dripping down his lashes. For a moment, he stands to admire himself. The metal piercings and the sharp edge of his eyebrows. He smiles at the mirror, wondering if that was the expression he made when HanZhang had the balls to throw a wayward comment.

"You know, you're not as haphazard as you think yourself to be." 

The sentence is beautiful and hits home in an unexpected scenario, given that the movie theatre was dark and the projector light was doing little justice to his features. Their hands had touched twice, and Xiaochen's heart rate had spiked. He thought he was over adrenaline rushes. 

He dresses himself and hangs the towel round his neck, not bothering to dry it off. The dinner was a simple hot pot, and he is full. Xiaochen plops himself down before his computer and hits the publish button, leaning backwards and closing his eyes as he lets the graphic tablet switch on. His devices are getting rusty, but the new CINTIQ would require a little more on part of his savings. 

He hasn't begun polishing the first page of his next draft when the slew of notifications start ringing out. Yuan Yang stands in the rain, looking as heartbroken as he could. The next panel is a monologue over a background of the skyline. I wish… the raindrops weren't so tedious to draw. Siqi stands by the window, looking at a blurry reflection of her bald head superimposed over the watery sight of the rainy city. 

I wish endings left a sweeter taste in my mouth. 

He finishes the last few strokes of the rains and switches tabs, pondering over the new comments. 

Noooooooooooooo
Fuck this shit man, where's my happy ending? 
I want a Yuan Yang. 
YangYang baby, come to mama. 

The last one makes him snicker. Being handsome made everyone forget what sort of a ridiculous asshole Yuan Yang was, with his wayward spendthrift behaviour and his absolute lack of conviction to other people's feelings. But Xiaochen's throat wells up as he switches the tabs, staring a little too hard at the expression that character makes under the rain. 

His lips are curled in a half smile and his eyes are watery, fist clawing over his heart and head bent low. As if he has truly known what failure feels like. 

Xiaochen holds the episode for now. 

//

LinFeng seems to have become a more than permanent member of the unofficial weekly rooftop meetings. She brings her daughter as well, that chubby little gremlin who is the current reason for Xiaochen's alcohol abstinence. 

"I hope I am not bothering you," says LinFeng, delicately brushing a strand of her hair behind her ear. 

Xiaochen's eyes flit to WeiWei tongue darting out ever so slightly to wet her lower lip, and how the woman's neck turns red as if it has a conscience of its spectator. Come on, get a room. His mind itches to scream, but he knows things are far, far more complicated than on the surface. 

He casually sips the apple juice. 

"Not at all. We get bored all alone." Weiwei picks up the kid and places it on her lap. 

"I hope you don't mind me asking but were you two dating?" LinFeng drops the bomb. 

A part of Xiaochen wants to say yes. 

"No! God, no, never! Me and this guy?" Weiwei makes an awful retching noise. "Plus he's gay! He doesn't like me and I don't like him, not even in the slightest." 

LinFeng looks down, her shoulders caving in. For a mother of a four year old, she looks awfully young. Xiaochen suspects she is younger than he is. She swallows nervously, picking a rough splinter on the wooden cot. 

"Do you… I mean, he isn't your type?" 

"Far from it." Weiwei nods her head so hard it might come off. 

"Then, what kind of men do you like?" 

Xiaochen snorts. The apple juice enters the wrong pipe and he ends up falling to his knees, beating his chest with his fist and sucking in air through his mouth. 

"Enough of that!" Weiwei fists the back of Xiaochen's t-shirt and hoists him up, effectively making the sweetened to a fault liquid regurgitate through his nostrils and trickle down his lips. 

Guoguo is the only one who finds it funny. 

"If it's about dating, I suppose Chenny boy has something to share?" Weiwei smiles. It's one of those Disney villain shit eating grins. 

"I do," he wipes his chin. "I'm trying to date this guy. It isn't as if he is interesting enough to hold my attention but I will very soon introduce him to my parents." 

"Parents?" LinFeng's eyes widen. "Do they…" 

"They threw me out of their house when they found me making out with my classmate. My father grabbed my collar and hurled me down the stairs, and it resulted in me fracturing my ribs, internal haemorrhage and permanent damage to my left hand." He lifts up the permanently flexed last two digits of his hand. "But it looks like I am making a peace sign, so I am cool with it." 

"But you are an artist!" LinFeng's hand flies to her mouth.  

"I am right handed." Xiaochen waves. 

"How… how can you be so casual about what they did to you?!" She cries, fists curling up her faded skirt and eyes watering. "That's beyond cruel!"

"Yeah, our dislike is mutual, so it cancels out." He shrugs, turning away to look at the city lights. 

"How did you survive?" 

"That's when I come in the picture." Weiwei says. "We had met recently, and I found him sleeping under the desk in our lecture hall. Took the guy in." 

"So now that my villain origin story is out in public, I'd like to hear someone else's." Xiaochen rubs his hands. "How about this kid?" 

Guoguo gawks up at him with big beady eyes. 

"Alright. I'll head out now." He grabs an entire box of spicy braised chicken and tucks it under his arm, pinches Guoguo's cheeks and storms out of the door. Although the woman was irritating, Xiaochen's heart feels at ease. 

He looks up at the sky one last time before heading back to his room and finishing up the devastating ending to his story. 

//

At midnight, Xiaochen is rudely awakened by his phone ringing. 

"You bastard!" WeiWei's croaky, on the verge of tears voice rings through his ear drums, sending reverberations of anger through the skull of that half conscious man. "This was how it was supposed to end? This? What the fuck dude?" 

"Hey," Xiaochen rubs his eyes, "tone your shit down." 

"He could have stayed by her side! He became a better man, he was… man he was this close to redemption! Did you have to kill all his hopes and dreams? Did you have to kill her?" 

Xiaochen's mind slurs from the dream it has been conjuring up. A talking raccoon baking cakes for an injured crusader on a boat. "What?" 

"He loves her!" 

"And she doesn't," he answers groggily. "Can we expect tomorrow? Please? I need to sleep." 

"No, you little shit—" 

He tosses the phone on the bedside table and goes back to sleep. But this time, he dreams of Ji Donghuan.