Dating an internet girl

8

"Let me hug you for the last time, love." He is crying and I can't take it pero hindi lang siya ang nasasaktan ako rin.

Every day he is trying, I can see that but my decision is final and I know when we separate schools next school year this will be worst if we still continue this... I threw painful words at him I was being harsh so that he will stop, but he didn't.

It's not easy to replace and forget the one and only Claude, he is the only man who makes me happy and spoiled me a lot... It is so painful and I know I will carry this every day.

I continue my study and life, aaminin ko it was not easy and never will be... I didn't see him also at school, I guess he had already moved on because he stop pursuing me maybe he realized I am just nothing to be please.

Today is our graduation, I'm so proud of myself because I survived... There's a part of me happy for leaving the USA so I could forget all memories that we had in that school kasi diyan kami nag simula.

He promised me before that he is going to be there at my graduation but now I know he won't come for what? to see the girl who hurt him? He said before we will celebrate after my graduation but that would never happen anymore.

"Kamusta na kaya siya"

"Kumakain ba siya?"

"Malakas na ba ang loob niya ngayon?" Those are the questions in my mind always kasi hindi yon kumakain kung hindi pa ako magagalit na kumain siya and also siya ang may pinaka soft na puso na nakilala ko... he don't know how to say no.

We have just one month of vacation and we will start classes for college, I feel nervous but still excited for the challenged by the challenges that I will face in college life.

Me and my mom also already talk and I don't like her decision about my college... she wants me to transfer to Roxas City, which we are originally from... there is a part of like that I like there because my cousins and family are there but sadly hindi doong lifestyle ang kinalakihan ko and I know malaking pag babago sa buhay ko.

"Mom, their school there is not good enough for nursing."

"Filamer is also good and I don't believe na nasa school yan, nasa student yan."

I don't have any choice and I can't decide for myself as of now since she's the one who's paying my tuition and everything... what if mag working student ako? oh my gosh I can't pala baka mamamatay ako.

I also realized that maybe this is the way of God to help me to move from Claude... because I believe that every happens in our life has a reason and also don't be sad if may mawawala dahil may papalit na mas better than your past.

The hardest part of this is I don't know how to say this to my grandfather because since when I was a child he doesn't want me to leave at this house because he really loves me... imagine it's almost 12 years na ako dito.

Saka kona yan iisipin kung malapit na at tutulongan din naman ako ni mama kumausap kay lolo.