My Dark Haired Neighbour (Severus Snape Love Story)

The end of bliss.

He wrapped his arms around my waist, mine looped around his neck and I kissed him, standing on tip toes. He kissed me back, his fingers tracing gentle patterns across my skin.

"I missed you"

I smiled, I always did. "I missed you too Sev..are you going to make me a cup of tea"

He nodded, slowly moving away from me and taking my hand, walking up the hill towards the castle.

I looked up at it in all it's glory, the october sun and chilly wind making it look more impressive than usual. "It's weird being back"

He nodded, "You'll get used to it, it hasn't changed at all inside"

I followed him in through the entrance hall and down the steep steps to the dungeon. I shook my head "No wonder you're so pale, Severus. You never see any light. Do you think you'll be able to come home for the christmas holidays?"

He looked at me "You want to have christmas with me?"

God he was amazingly brilliant but he was thick as mince sometimes "Yes, Severus. Obviously"

Severus looked surprised and nodded "I can try"

I smiled "Good". He unlocked his office door and I walked in, looking around and shaking my head. "This is disgusting" I nodded to the dead things floating in jars.

He rolled his eyes "Well good thing I don't live in my office, isn't it, Esme"

I laughed and followed him through a second door into another room. Severus had a small kitchen with a stove, a kettle, a sink, a fridge and an oven. He had a washing machine too that looked like he'd put it in himself.

The room beside that had a fireplace and a sofa, a coffee table between them. There were several books that he was obviously part the way through reading.

The door at the end of the hall must have been his bedroom, my stomach jolted at the thought of seeing it later.

Severus went into the kitchen to start making me a cup of tea whilst I sat on his sofa, looking through his books. He still could surprise me, he had several Julia Donaldson books, hidden away under his thriller novels.

He looked at me, putting the cup of tea down on a placemat "You're very nosy"

I shrugged "So? I'm just making sure you haven't stashed a knife or some other murdering tool under here"

Severus laughed, the sound was like music to my ears "You've spent too long in the muggle world, I have a wand."

I scoffed "Yeah and I'm going to shove it in your ear-" He tilted my chin up and gently kissed my lips, cutting me off. I was immediately distracted and kissed him back with equal enthusiasm.

The door banged open and we broke away from eachother, Severus looking at the cockblocker. I turned around and saw a blonde boy of no more than thirteen stood there. I wasn't aware students were allowed in teachers dorms.

Severus sighed "Esme this is my godson Draco, Draco this is my girlfriend Esme."

The boy called Draco nodded slowly, stepping forwards and handing Severus a letter "My father told me to give you this, it's important but don't open it in company"

Severus nodded and tucked the letter away inside his robes, looking at Draco. "Knock, next time Draco. Thank you. I'll see you at the feast"

Draco turned and left, his cheeks still as pink as they had been when he'd walked in on me and Severus kissing.

I looked at Severus, who leant in to kiss me again. I placed my hand on his chest to stop him. "What's that Severus? I've heard bad things about the Malfoy family"

Severus shook his head "It's nothing for you to worry about, Esme. Come on, don't think about it. Just kiss me again"

I sighed, I wanted to press him, to ask questions, to find out what he was doing with, if that was Draco and the letter was from his father, Lucius Malfoy. I'd met him once before, the day I'd gone to the bar with Severus. He'd looked at me like I was some sort of object. He'd wanted a private word with Severus then, he wanted another one now? Id heard stories about the Malfoy family and their involvement with You-Know-Who.

I kissed him for a bit longer but I think he could tell my mind was elsewhere because he pulled away and looked down at me "It'll just be stuff about Draco. I know what you're thinking about."

Sometimes, I really did feel like he could read my mind. It was like I could feel his black eyes penetrating mine, I felt it happen when we had sex too. It was as if he entered my mind to find out what I enjoyed, now he was doing it to find out why I wasn't reciprocating.

"It's nothing, Esme, I promise."

"How am I supposed to know that? I know what Lucius Malfoy and his mates used to get up to. I heard all sorts of stories at Hogwarts. He's only a few years older than you. You would have seen him doing the stuff they said he did"

Severus sighed "I know, Esme. I was friends with him"

I looked shocked, I knew how horrible Lucius Malfoy and his friends were, especially at school and even now. Nearly all of them had gone on to be death eaters.

I didn't say anything, I looked at my hands. Was that why Severus didn't want to take his top off? Did he have a dark mark lurking underneath the fabric, black against his pale skin.

He swallowed as he watched me, he knew I wasn't stupid. I could put two and two together. I saw him move beside me, he slowly pulled up his sleeve.

I saw his mark, black and awful against the arm of the man who I trusted. The man who I was growing to love. I felt sick to my stomach. I knew what you had to do to get that mark.

I stood up, stumbling backwards, the back of my legs scraping along the coffee table as I moved to get away from him.

Severus shook his head "Esme- Esme stop it. Just let me explain"

I looked at him, tears welling in my eyes. I needed to cry but I wouldn't do it in front of him. I wouldn't let him see me cry. "I trusted you."

He yanked his sleeve back down, shaking his head "Esme, please"

I shook my head and turned on my heel, putting my jacket back on, leaving his quarters. I walked through the castle with an unbothered, relaxed manner, once I was out of the grounds I disapparated.

I looked around at my kitchen that I'd just materialised in, I felt something brewing in my throat. Oh god. I rushed to the bathroom, where I vomitted, over and over again. Everything I'd eaten over the last three days came up.

Once I'd finished, I stood up, feeling significantly lighter now than I had when I'd arrived. Severus was a Death Eater.

The man who I'd opened my heart to, I'd had sex with him.

I couldn't believe I'd had sex with him. The thought made me feel disgusted. I went upstairs and had a bath, hugging my knees as I tried to scrub the feeling of his hands off my skin.

I started sobbing, my head on my knees as I thought about him. I loved him. I knew I did. I couldn't just stop loving him with a click of my fingers.

I got out of the bath a little while later and wrapped a towel around myself. I had several of his jumpers in my wardrobe, I usually slept in them. I put my own tshirt and pyjama bottoms on this time, grabbing the scissors and cutting the lace knickers and bra I was going to wear tonight up.

I wasn't sure why I'd done that, they were expensive. I supposed I just didn't want anything that reminded me of him.

Meanwhile, Severus was sitting at the halloween feast, eating his food solemnly, wondering if he'd ever see me again.