In the shadow of your heart

36

"Victor Rookwood is dead." My voice is icy cold as I stand in the Map Chamber and report to Professor Fig. "He confronted me as I left Ollivander's with the Keepers' wand." All of my emotions are left in the corridor in front of the Slytherin common room where I last kissed Sebastian goodbye before we parted our ways. He is joining the rest of the students and Professors to hold the defence for as long as it's needed for me to get to the repository. "I had to defend myself." I say quietly, but my voice is firm.

"Godric's heart." My mentor gasps. "Are you all right? I know you're well able to defend yourself, I've seen it often enough - but Rookwood himself?"

I see the pity in his eyes. And I don't deserve it. If only Professor Fig knew what I did. "He destroyed so many lives and he wouldn't have stopped. I'm glad I was able to put an end to him." I force out a neutral answer. I am far from being all right, but if we talk about it, I doubt the wizard would let me go after the repository.

"You're right." The old man mutters after a moment. "He wouldn't have stopped. You did what you had to do. The wizarding community owes you a great debt."

Professor Fig gives me a reassuring smile. I'm not sure if it's me being so good at pretending or he just chose to ignore the state I'm in, but it works for me.

"Thank you for saying so, Professor. I'm ready for what's next." I nod.

The wizard puts a hand on my shoulder and guides to the portraits. "All right, then. The Keepers have been waiting."

At last, the Keepers praise me for going through all the Trials. Percival Rackham talks about how I managed to do it all under such unfortunate circumstances. "You understand, now, why all of this was necessary - the Portkey, the vault, the locket, the book, the trials." I hope that his speech is going to be over soon. I know that he is a portrait, but we have living people here in immediate danger. "To ensure that one with the ability you and I share would make the same choice that San, Niamh, Charles, and I did." It takes enormous effort to not start tapping my foot from anxiety.

"Now that you have witnessed my memory, you understand all that is at stake. Not everyone is what they seem." San Bakar joins and I wonder if I will have to listen to all of them one by one for however long they want to talk. I am so angry, I want to scream at them.

"As you know, light does not exist without shadow nor shadow without light. Simply because you can eliminate darkness does not always mean that you should." Niahm's soothing voice does nothing but irritate me more for the first time ever. I really like the woman but I've heard the words already. We need to move.

Charles Rookwood clears his throat and I almost cringe at the memory of his descender. "Even the most well-meaning and competent amongst us cannot possibly know the consequences of manipulating what should be beyond our reach." I can't stop thinking that at this moment Sebastian might be fighting already. Back to back with Ominis. How many others I know and care about are there? How many will die tonight?

The voice of Percival Rackham snaps me out of my thinking, "What lies in the repository must never be released. Resist the temptation to destroy or control it." The man commands. I want to roll my eyes at that. "The magic that you have so carefully honed must now be used only to protect the secret we keep." Now this adds fuel to my anger. You gave me nothing. No trust. No help. No knowledge. And then you want to use me whenever it is convenient to you. "You have the wand. You will know when to wield it. We leave our legacy in your hands." I know for sure that I am never going back to this room after tonight is over.

  The stars in the floor fade. We walk off the map quickly as the glass turns into water. It's as if someone took the plug out in a bath. There are stairs leading to a door now where, a moment before, was a beautiful map made of flickering lights. That must be the way to the repository. It's been so close all along. "Astonishing." I hear Fig mutter behind me as I rush down the stairs.