Helluva Bodyguard! (Male Hellhound Reader X Helluva Boss)

Happy Death Anniversary.

Loona: "...What?"

Blitzø looks to Moxxie, who gives him a thumbs up, then to Y/N, who just flips him the bird while chugging a cup of coffee.

Blitzø: "Yeah! Maybe I will, Little Missy!...y-th-that's right, it's tough love time! So now..uh..you can..go..to your desk!"

Y/N: "Damn. Really told her there, Boss."

Loona throws Blitzø on the ground before menacingly stomping over to Y/N.

Loona: "Aren't you supposed to be defending me?!"

Y/N: "....No? I don't even know what the fuck is going on. I just got here."

Loona: "Still! You're supposed to man up and have my back, not stand there in your own stupid little head, acting like it has nothing to do with you!"

Y/N: "I'll have you know, my head is average-sized, thank you very much."

Loona: "That's not what I meant! Not your actual head, dumbass!"

Y/N: "Oh. Well, we both know that isn't little either, so what exactly are you-"

Loona throws one of the couch cushions at Y/N, which he swiftly dodged.

Y/N: "Now your just acting like a psycho bitch."

Loona: "Excuse me?!"

Y/N: "We both know you heard that, but in case you didn't..."

Y/N pulls a megaphone out of nowhere, turning it on with a dead panned look.

Y/N: "YOU'RE ACTING, LIKE A PSYCHO, BITCH."

Loona: "UGH!"

Loona shouts as she throws a printer at Y/N's head, to which he dodged by nonchalantly stepping the the side, taking a sip of Moxxie's coffee as he watch Loona stop to her desk.

Moxxie takes his cup back and Y/N turns to walk away, only to see Octavia trying, and sort of failing, to sneak her way through the office. He just waves her off while Moxxie starts stroking Blitzø's ego and giving him a massage.

Moxxie: "Sir, if I may say so, You're doing the right thing. If we can't even hire a cheerful qualified receptionist, how can people trust us to massacre and mutilate their enemies."

Y/N: "....Do you not realize how retarded that sounds? Let's say you walk in through those doors, and you're greeted with a cheerful (In an UwU voice for some reason) 'Hello sir! Who may we murder for you today!?', would you trust that?"

Moxxie: "Well-"

Y/N: "I'm gonna stop you right there. No. You wouldn't. Don't bullshit me."

Out of the corner of his eye, Y/N sees Loona and Octavia look at each other, then Loona acting like she doesn't exist.

Y/N: "Great job. Ten out of Ten. Would definitely recommend."

Loona just stares at her phone, pretending like Y/N doesn't exist.

Y/N: "....So you're just going to ignore me?"

Loona: "......"

Y/N: "Alright. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have insulted you like that. It was a dick move."

Loona: "......"

Y/N: "Okay, I know that apology was shit but it's pretty much all I have right now."

Loona lets out a disappointed sigh before looking up to Y/N and rolling her eyes.

Loona: "...It's a start. A bad one, but still a start-"