Why do I Try When I'll Just Fail Anyway?

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{"You know you're on my mind?"}

       My cat has disappeared. Three days ago, I fed her some tuna out of our pantry. I haven't seen her since.

       Do I go look for her? Do I go outside? I do not know. I am too scared to try. So, to cope with being even more alone, I sleep. I sleep often. It has been a week or so. I have not eaten. I am not hungry. My hair is so thick, so I cut it. It feels nice to have it short. I have bangs now. They feel itchy.

       I look in the mirror and do not understand what I see. A girl, presumably, but she does not look like me. Her hair is matted, her eyes are dark, she does not smile. Is it me? I cannot tell.  She is so dark. Am I dark? This girl is familiar, I see her, but she does not see me.

       This place. It is dark. It never shines. It is white. Constantly white. White and clouded. I think it's been white for a while. Although I do not know because my body will not go back downstairs, or outside. I write what I see. I see dark. It is consuming me.

Is it consuming me, or or is it hugging me?

M𝐢𝐧𝐝 O𝐯𝐞𝐫 M𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫; e. pevensieWhere stories live. Discover now