[poetry] a little piece from the heart

velvet vessel

I'd be lying to pretend that
I didn't get anxious
whenever the sphygmomanometer
pressed against my arms

each time
the systolic and diastolic readings
dropped below the usual range
my stomach would sink

although I sound unconcerned
I battled to restrain my tears
because I do care
I really do

I never believed that
recklessly ignoring my health
while living life to the fullest
was a serious thing
now that I'm barely halfway through my 20s
I already regret far more than I have survived

they say
you are what you eat
and maybe that is why I never had enough
and was never good enough