Beauty where there's pain

Chapter 23

Marcus fucking hated himself. He felt like such a prick all the time. Especially when he looked at Jade and his infant daughter and still couldn't escape the feeling of sheer darkness. He felt like he wasn't even really existing, and that he was just there. It took every ounce of the little energy he had to force a smile to his daughter, who was gummy smiling at him. Jade was laying down next to him on his bed with Marley sitting on top of her stomach. Jade looked happy, Marcus wondered why he couldn't feel the same way.

Some time passed and now Jade was sitting next to Marcus with Marley propped up on a pillow in between them both. Jade was talking to him, but for some reason he couldn't force himself to actively engage in the conversation. It'd been easy to pretend that everything was great before, but now it was extremely hard. He only responded to the parts of the conversation that he heard, but otherwise he stayed silent and tried to smile.

A little while later, after Jade left with Marley and kissed him goodbye, he discovered that he was suddenly exhausted. He laid down and passed out.

He woke up two hours later and went downstairs to get water. As he was grabbing a cup, he took notice of his dads booze sitting on the counter. It wasn't his dad's expense stuff so he knew his dad wouldn't miss it too much. He looked around the room to make sure nobody was around before taking the bottle and going to grab his skateboard.

He sipped on the bottle at first, but soon the sipping turned into him chugging nearly half of it before skating around the town. He skated down main street, where almost every shop and restaurant was closed for the night. He was pretty wobbly on his skateboard and as soon as he skated next to blue farm he completely wiped out and smacked his face on a bench. "Holy shit!" He heard from somebody behind his. He slowly turned to see who it was. His eyes widened slightly as he saw Padma. He hadn't even gotten to say a word before he was getting helped off the ground.

"Alright. Padma, come on, I'm fine." Marcus tried telling Padma as she dragged him into the restaurant. "No you're not." Padma told him. "Im fine!" He tried assuring her forward. Padma sighed. "He was outside, fell off his board." Padma told Joe. Seeing Joe was what gave Marcus the sudden realization that he was in the restaurant where Jade worked. "Is Jade here?" Marcus asked Joe. "No man, she wasn't even scheduled today. Are you drunk?" Joe asked Marcus. Marcus furrowed his brows, "No. look." Marcus told his while pushing quickly demonstrating how he could skate. Padma tried shouting his name to get him to stop while Joe acted quickly and snatched Marcus off of the skateboard before he could hurt himself. "Okay there." Joe said while Getting Marcus steady on his feet. "Can you put up a coffee?" Joe asked Padma, who nodded and complied. "Why don't you take a seat, huh? Right behind ya." Joe told Marcus while getting a chair set down for him. Marcus tried looking for the chair, only finding it when Joe pointed it out for him.

Joe grabbed a pitcher of water from the counter and a glass. He filled the glass and handed it to Marcus. "Drink." He told him. Marcus didn't want to drink the water, because then he'd get sober faster, which meant the thoughts were going to come back. "Nah I'm good." Marcus told him. "Or I could call your mom?" Joe threatened him lightly. Padma placed a cup of coffee on the table. Marcus immediately took the glass of water and drank the water as fast as he could, only for it to be filled again by Joe. "Again." Joe told him while standing up and walking across the room. "Marcus why are you drunk on a Sunday?" Padma asked him. "Because Sundays are depressing." Marcus told her. "He's got the Sunday scaries. Not even in the real world yet." Joe told him while placing a roll of the stale bread from earlier that day in front of him.

He picked the bread up. How was he not in the real world yet? He has a child, and he witnessed his best friends life end at the ripe young age of 14. "It feels pretty real to me." Marcus told Joe while ripping the bread in half. "Yeah listen, high school can be rough, man, but it...it doesn't last forever." Joe told him. All Marcus could do was stare at him. Adults were always saying bullshit like this to him. "I could totally see you having a hard time in high school." Padma laughed. "What?" Joe asked her. "No, just, I can see you coming into yourself later in life." She explained. "No, I was cool in high school. I was pretty much like the fresh prince." Joe told her. "Who?" She asked. Joe sighed, "Ok, some of you did not grow up with Nick at Nite and it shows. How are we getting you home?" Joe asked Marcus. Marcus was far too out of it to answer, so Padma spoke up. "I can drive him." She said. "Marcus, do you want to tell me why you're drinking alcohol?" Joe asked. "Water is a finite resource." Marcus answered. It was supposed to be a joke, but of course Marcus sounded like a smart ass. "Ok, take him home." Joe told Padma.