ALMOST UNFIXABLE.

064 - In Your Arms

I couldn't voice out my thoughts yet because he was still speaking, and I hoped that it will shed more light on my confusion.

"It's only for tonight, I promise," his decision not to look at me was deliberate. "T-This is the only place I kinda feel is the safest. I-I really hope you d-don't m-mind..." he trailed off when his voice wouldn't stop breaking and he couldn't help it, and my heart broke along with it.

I couldn't hold back anymore.

I moved closer to him and took his hand, the closest hand to my side, in mine. Thankfully, he didn't pull away. He allowed me to touch him, to hold his hand even though he still didn't turn around to look at me. So, I moved to stand in front of him instead, and immediately, he averted his gaze from mine. He deliberately didn't want me to look him in the eye.

Simi wasn't shy like this, especially when it comes to holding a gaze. So, this was so out of character for him. He has only done this a few times, all of those times being when he's trying to stop me from seeing him a certain way.

A vulnerable way.

How bad is this... whatever is going on with him?

It must be very bad to have made him cry. To make him this... detached from himself.

And the fact that he didn't want to stay at home on his own? Omo.

"You haven't had any problem staying at home alone before, Simi," I gently noted. He didn't say anything back, so I went on. "What makes this so different from every other time?" I asked him, trying to sound as persuasive as possible.

He started to shake his head, slowly.

"I-I c-can't stay in that h-house a-alone." His voice was breaking even more, and I let out a shaky breath.

One little push in the right... or maybe wrong direction, he'd break and let it all out... scream or cry. Right now, he's trying to bottle up so much and it's not a good thing. I knew that firsthand.

Either way, I'm ready to take that risk. His not wanting to go home had to do with whatever was happening to him and I needed to know what it is. There's no way for me to help him, or get him out of that problem if I don't know what's going on with him.

And I desperately... with all my heart, soul, and body, wanted to get him out of whatever this is.

So, I pushed... just a little bit.

"Why?" I gently persuaded him to tell me. "Why don't you want to go home?" I cajoled. He kept quiet, and just continued to shake his head, still religiously keeping his gaze away from me.

Oh, God.

"Talk to me."

I whispered, tugging him closer to me and he moved without hesitation. He wasn't fighting it, or me, and that felt like a good thing, as if he wanted to tell me but he didn't know how, or where to start. So, I squeezed his hand in mine reassuringly, letting him know that I'm here to listen.

A moment or two passed and Simi still wasn't speaking. But I didn't pressure him. I waited for him. I want him to do this on his own accord... because he trusts me enough to open up to me.

And finally, he did.

It started with him finally meeting my eyes, and my heart fell to the pit of my stomach.

His eyes were a lot redder, more bloodshot with fresh unshed tears brimming in them. Just one blink and the tears would start falling down his eyes in a torrent. This was the first time in a very long while seeing Simi like this, and it didn't look good at all. It physically hurt to see him like this.