The Man I Want To Be

A/N: Hey everybody! This is the first story I've ever put out there for people to read, and I know it's not great, but I'm pretty proud of it. =]

This is not only dedicated to Jesus, but also to my Mom, who encourages me to reach for my dreams. And also to my best friend Elizabeth, the only person I've ever let read my stories (until now), and on whom Lenore is based... and only she knows on whom I based Craig. ;]

My story is inspired be, and loosely based on, the song "The Man I Want To Be" by Chris Young. It is an amazing, beautiful song, and it's over in the sidebar if any of you want to have a listen (which I would highly recommend). --------->>

Please enjoy, and vote and comment if you like it!

Jamie <3

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"And don't come back!"

*Slam!*

Craig gaped at the closed door in front of him. Lenore, his girlfriend of over two years, had just thrown him out of his own home! The shock quickly wore off, and he stormed angrily away from the house, completely missing the sound of his girlfriend's sobs behind the thick wooden door.

"I can't believe she's doing this to me!" Craig shouted to no one in particular as he walked down the street. "She's such a-such a-" He couldn't bring himself to insult the dark-haired beauty, instead growling loudly in frustration.

As he continued to walk, not caring where he ended up, he thought over what had started this most recent fight. All he could think of was that she had asked him if he knew what today was, and he had replied, Thursday. Apparently, it had been the three-year anniversary of the day they met.

Who keeps track of stuff like that? he thought angrily to himself. She's just overly emotional, he concluded. He suddenly realized he was nearing the very beach where he and Lenore had met, and chuckled in spite of himself. However, he did not deter from his obvious destination, and let his mind wander to other things he and Lenore had had arguments over.

He sometimes zoned out when she was talking to him.

He forgot about her birthday; two years in a row.

He criticized the meal she had slaved over for hours on the first anniversary.

He was constantly telling her she should loose some weight, even though she was completely healthy.

Craig walked slower as the list became longer and longer.

He cheated on her the year before with a blonde bimbo he picked up in a bar.

He got angry with her if she put any starch on his underwear.

He told her she looked horrible when she got a new haircut that she was so proud of.

He had told her once that he didn't really love her, that he just stayed with her for kicks.

"Oh, God! It's all my fault!" he cried out, sinking to his knees in the soft sand and burying his face in his hands.

"What have I done?" he whispered to himself. A cold drop of liquid fell onto the back of his neck, and he looked up at the darkening sky. He closed his eyes, his body shaking with suppressed sobs, as the heavens opened up, pelting him with ice-cold drops of water.

Craig lowered his head again, folding his hands together and clenching them so tightly his knuckles were white.

"Dear God," he whispered, teardrops and rain pouring down his face. "I know I don't pray as often as I should, and I usually handle my problems on my own, but this time, God, I've gone too far, and I don't know where else to go, or who else to turn to.

"I've hurt her again, but I don't know if she'll forgive me this time. I really don't deserve her forgiveness; or yours, for that matter. But I love her, God, and I don't know what I'm going to do without her." His voice turned thick with emotion.

"I want to go home and beg her to give me another chance, but she deserves so much better than me, Lord. All those times I've hurt her in one way or another, and yet she still stood by me. Until today. I crossed the line, God, and I don't know how to cross back." He raised his voice, crying out to the heavens as the rain still pounded him relentlessly.

"Please, Lord, come into my life and change me. Change me into a man who can look in the mirror at himself. Change me into the man a woman as wonderful and amazing as Lenore deserves. I want to walk with you, Lord, so that maybe I could once again walk with her. I want her to be able to look at me and see the man of her dreams.

"Maybe, God, you could find it in you to convince her that I really am a changed man, and that I will never do anything to hurt her again. Please help me tell her that I will never leave her side again, and I would give my last breath to hear her say 'I love you' again. Help me find a way to tell her that she means everything to me, and that I would die without her."

"Why don't you tell her yourself?" The softly spoken words startled him, and he looked up to see Lenore standing by him, her hair and clothes plastered to her body and her expression unreadable.

"Lenny," he whispered, leaping to his feet.

"Did you mean all of that, Craig?" Lenore asked. "I mean really mean it?"

"With all my heart and soul, Lenny," he whispered, dying to hold her in his arms, but knowing that would be the wrong move now. Lenore looked down at the sand for a long moment before looking back up at Craig, tears in her dark brown eyes.

"I love you, Craig," she said after searching his eyes for a long moment. Craig felt his heart swell with joy, and he drew her into his arms.

"I love you, too, Lenny," he whispered, his voice cracking with emotion. He slowly lowered his head down to hers, and their lips met as if for the first time. As they stood there, the rain stopped as quickly as it had begun, and the clouds parted, projecting a luminous ray of sunshine upon the couple. When their lips parted, Lenore was the first to speak.

"Let's go home."

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Sooooo, whadya think? lol

Thanks for reading, and please vote and comment if you like it!

Merci beaucoup, mes amis! Au revoir, Jamie <3