In Too Deep (Dancing With The Shadows)

twenty three

"It's alright, Lou, I understand losing a friend can be hard, but I'm sure you'll be able to see him again."

Louis' face retorts, creases caving in between his brows and along his forehead.

He's ready to let everything be on the line.

Everything for Harry.

He's going to let it all out so he doesn't have to hide no more. So he can be free for himself. He's spent far too long hiding, and he doesn't want to be in the shadows no longer.

"Dad, you don't get it," Louis sobs, gripping tightly onto Peter's collar. He takes a breath, tries to control himself. "He-I... I think I'm in love with him," Louis whispers.

Peter stiffens a little in Louis' arms and this is where Louis is sure he's fucked up.

"In love with Harry?" Peter confirms.

Louis simply nods, cannot trust his voice right now. The pure fear of his dad kicking him out keeps his throat closed up.

He takes a moment before he croaks out, "I'm so sorry, Dad. I am so, so sorry. I know I shouldn't feel like that. I know it's supposedly wrong to be into men, that God hates it, but I just... I can't help it!"

Peter cradles Louis, rocks them side to side. "Oh lad, you really think so low of me to disown you for your own happiness? Just because Grandpa worshipped the cross, doesn't mean I have to follow in those footsteps. As long as you're safe and happy that's all I care about. You don't have to apologise for anything, you have done nothing wrong," Peter reasons truthfully, and it makes Louis cry that little bit more.

His dad accepts him. He doesn't care.

Well, if he's being honest, he better tell something else.

"Dad, you do know that this means that Benny was my boyfriend, not just a friend, right?" Louis says, lifting his head up from laying on Peter's shoulder.

Peter's piercing eyes stare down at his son. "He was a prick either way, Louis. Let's just hope your choice in men now is better than it was before, hm?" He knocks his knuckles gently into Louis' nose, making the boy chuckle.

"Have you told Harry your feelings yet? At least he's got the money," Peter says with a little laugh to show he's very much just joking around. 

Louis rolls his eyes at the statement. "No, I'm too scared to tell him, Dad. What if he rejects me?"

"Life is too short to think about the what ifs, Lou. You need to start thinking of the what next. If this works out, what is next between the pair of you?"

Louis raises a slumped shoulder. "I'm not leaving the family business, if that's what you're afraid of. I won't hurt our family more than I already have."

Peter sighs loudly. "Lou, you did nothing to hurt the family to begin with, and I hope one day you'll learn that. I won't say that I'm not pleased that you're not leaving me, though. I couldn't lose you too, bud. But you should go and tell him how you feel before it's too late. He leaves at five tomorrow morning."

Louis groans at the reminder, hears the faint tick of the clock above the mantelpiece. He wipes his eyes dry, feeling suddenly very exhausted. He fishes out his phone, typing away at it.

Louis: You done packing yet?

A second later, his phone vibrates in his small hand. 

Curly H: All packed and hidden in the wardrobe. Now come back here so I can suck your dick and cuddle you ;)