Teenage Mania ✸ Original Applyfic.

II. Puppet Master, put on a show

✸ Warnings; slight reference to religion, slight reference to angry father's/abuse, self-depreciation, etc.

His vision, from the constantly passing bars,
has grown so weary that it cannot hold
anything else. It seems to him there are
a thousand bars; and behind the bars; no world.

As he paces in cramped circles, over and over,
the movement of his powerful soft strides
is like a ritual dance around a centre
in which a mighty will stands paralysed.

Only at times, the curtain of the pupils
lifts, quietly—. An image enters in,
rushes down through the tense, arrested muscles, plunges into the heart and is gone.

The Panther, Rainer Maria Rilke (1875-1926)

II: Puppet Master dance for me, put on a show. I know your fingers itch for the cause and your body longs for the movement. We are your servants, let us be your servants. (Our last plea for one last show.)

The boy is free and yet he knows nothing of freedom. All he has known is his father's voice which will follow them for the rest of their life. Angry and cruel. He does not deserve this and yet God does not know and does not care.

How do you stop yourself from giving in to the music? Truth is, you don't. You can't. It's all around you and the one thing you cannot do is avoid it. Whoever said that 'life is just another choreography which you have not yet learned the steps to' can go fuck themselves, respectfully of course.

A sad smile makes its way to Dean's lips. He longs for the movement, aches for it. They're like a Picasso, equipped with the tools to create, but how do you do so if you possess the knowledge that when you indulge, everything crumbles around you. You don't, you give in. Dean does.

Was it Hulk that said he was always angry? The boy supposes so but it has been a long time since he watched anything like that, anything with the ability to possess you with that childlike wonder. It was a paradox in a sense, Dean gave in but also somehow didn't. They avoided and succumbed. But regardless, he ached, his body aches and his mind was tired, all they wanted to do was sleep.

Crack. Lightning filled the air pulling Dean from their sleep. The crumbling apartment walls shook from the noise as they gripped the thin covers tighter. It was over in a few minutes but still he couldn't get back to sleep if he tried. It was as if his mind had been electrified, woken up. It could have been the fear but whatever it was, their mind was blank. That was dangerous.

Silence filled the hallways in the dark of the night, Dean rhythmically clenching and unclenching their fists, taking deep controlled breaths. 'It was going to be okay', they reminded themselves, 'there was no one around to get hurt'.

He laid in the crumbling apart, barely stable bed, limbs thrown across the every inch of the piece of furniture with the thin cotton sheet tangled around his body as he stared up intently at the ceiling. Silence. And with a heavy sigh, he rolled out of the bed and made his way to the bathroom to get ready for yet another day. On the positive side, at least that had been a new record for the most amount of sleep they'd managed to get?

Every day had virtually been the same since Dean had gotten out of prison, and today was no different. They woke up, got ready, went to work at the little café near the pier, went job searching around town, clocked into their shift at the karaoke bar near their apartment, got home, and repeated it all over again. The only reason Dean tolerated working near the pier was for the decent pay and the fact that they were okay hiring people with criminal records, or they would've never even considered stepping foot near that place.

Okay so admittedly, that's a bit of a lie, he would've gone to see a glimpse of the boy that sits on the beach daily staring out to sea, but who cares. No one would want him and their damaged parts anyways and they doubt that they'd be able to let anyone close to them for the fear of them getting hurt or something going wrong like it always does. So Dean just admires the brunette sitting too close to water.

   ✸ Not too long but something to give you a hint at the person behind the jokester of the group with a slight mention of someone else. I hope I did them justice and that you all enjoyed the chapter. Sorry for the slow updates, more hopefully coming soon.