𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬 | s. lopez + b. pierce

I Kissed A Girl

"It's not a choice, you fucking idiot!" Jayden snapped, exhaling sharply, her nails digging into the backs of Brittany and Santana's hands.

"Hey, Guppy, baby, look at me." Brittany gently placed her hand on Jayden's cheek and turned her head so that she was looking at her. "It's okay. Deep breaths, okay?"

Jayden took a deep breath in through her nose and slowly let it out through her mouth. "Okay," she nodded.

"That's it," Finn shrugged. "That's what we're doing here. Blaine? Kurt?"

"I wish I never got out of bed this morning," Jayden grumbled, turning to hide her face in the crook of Brittany's neck. "I knew I should've stayed home today."

Santana glanced over at Jayden as Kurt and Blaine went up to the front of the choir room. She sighed sadly, wishing she knew what was going on in her head so that she could help her. She hoped that she was just moody because of her hormones, but deep down she knew that there was much more to it than that.

She was angry. She'd been through a lot in the last couple years, more recently, the last few months. She was processing everything that happened that night with Sam, and she had no idea how to cope with the fact that she was ra–

"Santana, Kurt and I have a song we like to sing to each other in the car, and we wanna sing that for you right now," Blaine said.

How dare you interrupt my worried thoughts about my girlfriend, gel brain.

"While there's nothing I'd love more than having two pretty ponies serenade me, I think we'd get further staging a gel-ervention for Blaine than singing lady music," Santana snarked.

"I know it's hard," Kurt said. "It was hard for me, too. But you can get through this."

"Easy for you to say, you weren't the one who was outed," Jayden scoffed.

"If you two would just stop being so defensive–"

"We're trying," Santana interrupted Blaine. "But your hideous bow-ties are provoking me, and Little Snixx's hormones are making her moody."

"Not just the hormones," Jayden grumbled, folding her arms across her chest.

"Wait, are we talking lady on lady or girl on girl?" Puck asked, tilting his head to the side. "Cause there's a big difference. Why not just make it lady on girl cause Jayden's–"

"Puck, focus, okay?" Mr. Schue interrupted him, scoffing. "Kurt, Blaine, why don't you, uh, kick us off with what you got?"

Kurt began to sing the first verse of Perfect by P!nk. Jayden bit down on her tongue to keep from crying, her jaw clenching slightly.

All her life, she had to live up to her big sister's perfection in their dads' eyes. Nothing she ever did earned her attention from them. She was invisible.

She'd been an outcast all her life. Even in Glee Club, she didn't exactly fit in or have friends. Brittany and Santana didn't count because she was in love with them, and Quinn was like an older sister, so she didn't count, either. She was sort of close with Tina and Artie freshman year, but they drifted apart when they started dating, leaving Jayden all alone.

Jayden leaned her head onto Santana's shoulder and linked their pinkies together as the song came to a close. She used the sleeve of Brittany's letterman to wipe away a lone tear that fell down her cheek.

It was impossible for her to listen to that song without crying, because even though the message was positive, it just reminded her that nothing she ever did would be good enough for anyone.

"Thank you, guys. Thank you, Finn, especially," Santana said sarcastically. "You know, with all the horrible crap I've been through in my life, now I get to add that."