In Too Deep (Dancing With The Shadows)

nineteen

"Lou, this is the most peaceful I've been within myself in years! I can deal with listening to the one I care about talk about his troubles. It won't bite me, I'm a big boy."

Louis hums, won't admit that Harry saying 'the one I care about' caused butterflies and a sick feeling in his stomach. "You're like a princess."

Harry creeps red. "Shut it."

Louis pokes his tongue out and pushes Harry into the sofa, straddling his waist. "Now, are you going to stop being so adorable and let me lick you all over?"

Harry squirms at that. "Just kiss me, you fool."

Louis doesn't have to be told twice.

...

Louis is upstairs in Felicite's room when he sees the car roll into the front of the house, wheels crunching against stone.

His stomach twists and he simply cannot do this.

He charges down the stairs just as Peter goes to the door, Louis sneaking out the back door and banging on Harry's door.

He left him when he went to get changed, getting some chocolate sauce down his top from where they were eating ice cream cuddled up on the sofa.

"Harry!" he yells. "Please open the door," his voice gets caught when a lump forms in his throat.

Harry opens the door, smiling softly which falls when he sees the tears threatening Louis' eyes.

"I can't do this," he croaks.

Harry pulls him in by the wrist, closing the door behind him and holding Louis close in his arms.

"It's okay, baby, you're strong, you can do this. You've got me, I'll help you through as best as I can," Harry soothes, rocking them side to side.

Louis breathes in the woodsy vanilla that is Harry's cologne, feeling it embed in his nostrils and hug his soul, calming him.

"Okay," he shakily let's out. He composes himself.

He needs to show his mum and sister that they don't affect him, that he's a big lad that doesn't fester inside their hatred every night.

"Alright." He sniffs, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. He grabs Harry's hand with his right one. It trembles a little, but he tries to make out that it isn't. "If you need to leave at any given point, you can. Don't stick around because my family are forcing you to."

Harry shakes his head fondly. "Louis, I'm staying with you, okay?"

Louis nods, looks to the door. "Right, okay. Let's do this."

They exit the cottage into the sticky heat, clouds thick around them, blocking out the beaming sun. It's quite fitting, actually, that the clouds dampen the sun's happiness much like Louis' family does him. 

He wishes they didn't, but after Owen died, he always regrets having to see them all face to face, despite how much he misses it. 

They enter through toward the ponds and to the front of the house where Daisy and Phoebe are playing with Clifford on the golf green, squealing and laughing when Clifford barks and demands to be chased. 

The twins turn their heads to spot Louis, eyes lightening up which causes a pang in Louis' heart, and a smile to creep onto his face. They go charging over to him, screaming his name as they go. Daisy flings herself into Louis' arms, Phoebe wrapping her arms around his legs and thumping to the floor on her butt. 

"We missed you this much!" Daisy insists, stretching her arms out as much as she can. 

Louis buries his nose into her brown hair, smelling the strawberry shampoo there. "Well I missed you twenty eight times as much, and that's a lot more than you can even imagine."