Words Of Silence

Stage 4= love after

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When your ready to settle
I'm ready to be yours

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Over loved
I think I loved you too much
You became my home
My safe place
My everything
So the thought of loosing you was like becoming homeless
With nothing
Never let someone else have the power to
Complete you
You don't need to be completed
They are holding you back so u can grow
And making you believe they fufill a whole you could fill

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I hug my pillow
So pathetically
Every night
Hoping it would magically transform into you
It never does

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The person before you
Is why I wonder
Why I worry
Why I try too hard
And talk to much
But your not them
They could bare to say they liked me out loud
You tell me daily
They didn't want anyone to know
But you already told your mom
Your sweet, your funny, you go on your litte rants like I do, you know a insane amount about monkeys
Your nothing like them
But Still I'm scared

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When there's something
So intense
So dynamic
A photo can not possibly grasp the beauty of it
You write it
You express it
You feel it

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Your perfect
Even when you make mistakes
Even when your wrong
Your a human form
Of a list of thing I want in a person
I wonder if u have a list
Rooted deep within you
I wonder if there's any check marks on it
I wonder what you see when u look at me
I hope we have different eyes

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Im complex
Im multi dimensional
There are so many sides
It's impossible to love them all
You will figure that out
That is if you haven't already
I'm imperfect my love
I don't know what to do
Or what to say
Or how to be
Me

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I'm terrified
My love I'm scared
You hold the power of the universe
My heart lays within your shaky hands
And I know
How quickly you could crush it
You haven't
No
Not yet
But I'm terrified
My love I'm scared

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I knew you were someone I wanted
But I didn't realize how much
Until instead  of sexting me
Like all the other people I talked to
You sexted me with cuddling
You explained how you would hold
Me how you would brush your fingers through my hair
And like that hope was planted it grew
there are people out there
Who can feel the same about me
That I feel about them
It bloomed
And I craved that more then any food I've ever eaten
-your better then pizza

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I love you more
I know it seems as if he loves you more
Because he stayed and I left
But my love
My person
I left because you wanted him
And I wanted you to have everything in this world that you wanted
You shouldn't have to divide your love between two people
I let you love him
Even if it breaks me

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Time well wasted
Years
Years I spent doing everything
Holding you while you were at your lowest
Changing myself
Doing anything to make you happy
I did anything I could to prove to you
How much I loved you
But in the end none of it matter
Not how long I waited for you
Not all the things I did for you
Not how long I let my heart shatter for your comfort
None of it because you love him
You choose him
Not me