two slow dancers • sirius black

V. An Open Wound

Somehow, despite of all that he does, there's always someone better. Always someone who does everything that he couldn't do, filling the cracks he leaves behind.

The first time he realised that was with Regulus.

They had the same blood, grew up with the same values which they both defied. He supposed his mistake was that he was too loud with it, and his brother's mistake was that he was too quiet.

How many times had he taken the fall for him? How many times had he faced the wrath of his parents just so he would be safe in his bed? How many times had he sacrificed for him?

What did that get you in return, a part of him asks and he cowers away and holds up a false pretence of fear. He knows the answer, he knows it very well. He just doesn't know how to accept it.

Not once had he spoken up as their parents dismissed his achievements because dear Regulus had done something better, neither did he say something as they praised their younger child when he had been the one to raise him.

All he got at the end of that road was a deep hole of misery which was waiting for him with welcome arms, calling him, asking him to jump in.

And he would have.

He would have if he had never met her.

Naina Malhotra changed his life, showed him the light in the darkness, showed him that if you just look a little closer there's always another path you could take, showed him that nothing could ever go wrong if you had people who loved you right by your side.

He couldn't give her the same.

Sirius Black always knew that his anger had no limits, it was a thing which could even destroy the dynasty he had built up on his own. She knew that, he could see it in her eyes, which led to that promise on the fateful night of the fourteenth of April in 1981, promising that as long as he was there there was nothing which could shatter their little word.

What a shame that he didn't move to stop it when it actually happened.

And the next thing he knew that he was watching her teary eyed face as aurors dragged him away, all of the promises he made breaking down and falling to the ground.

He picks them up, of course he does, and gives her promises he never could. He's much better than he could ever be, and it just breaks his heart a little bit more as he watches the only person who could ever fix it laugh to an unfortunately funny joke he made, as the ring on her finger shines in the light hanging above them.

Oh look, It's that damn hole again.