Chris Evans & co. [Male Reader]

Loving You (A,F)

Pairing : Chris Evans x Male Reader

Summery : Christmas is said to be the festival of joy and happiness. But for you, it brings the unbearable burn of old wounds. The ones you are so desperate to heal, to make all right. But will he ever give you the chance? After all you did to him? The pain, the heartbreak you caused him? Do you really deserve it? Unbeknownst to you, the person still aches for your love. He still stands where you left him, waiting for you to come back.

Warnings/tags : No warning. Pure angst & fluff.

There is a party at the community park today. The party of Christmas Eve. People are going to gather around and make merry as the season of Christmas settles around. Being one of the biggest community in Boston, the people held no reservation against making it ostentatious. You also heard that a special guest is to come with their family but the identity of the person is rather undisclosed. A surprise sort of.

As a part of this community you are also going to attend the party. And having a good reputation for being a 'singer-in-the-making', also at the insistence of nearly everyone at the community, you agreed to perform at least one song on the function.

You sigh as you shrug on your jacket. Your parents and siblings are already there waiting for you. Pocketing your woolen beanie, you head towards the door of your modern house and step outside.

As soon as you close the door behind you, the cold December air hit you, making your eyes water and chills erupting all over your body despite your warm getup. A blanket of thick snow covering all over the surface.

December, you think wishfully as you start to make your way to the community park. So many sweet memories but one can find the sourness of some particular memories if they take their time to sort through them. But one thing you know for a fact, yours can be found very easily. Because they're fresh yet old. Laced with so much pain, heartbreak and an unforgettable end.

You shake your head, determined not to think about them. You need a calm mind to roll the lyrics around your lips. You don't need past memories to sour your mood lest you want to disappoint the audience.

Past, you scoff inwardly. One year isn't past. Not when the time has barely passed for you. Yes, you still think about that December. It's as if you haven't moved past it yet. Your guilt and regret constantly pulls you towards that endless abyss.

Because you know that, it was your fault. He was the victim. He gave all his love, his precious heart. But you crushed all of it with your bare hands. Still, you could've apologized, but you didn't. You can't blame it entirely on less of opportunities. Because there was plenty. But being the coward you were, you didn't even make a move. And it kills you every single day, awaken and asleep.

He has probably moved on. But you couldn't. You can't. You're still looking forward to a chance. And if it never shows up, you are going to live an incomplete life. Is it worth living?

Finally reaching your destination, you let your gaze roam over the entire scene. Christmas lights all over the area. On the trees, benches, stalls, everywhere. Children running and playing around, gleeful in their own joy. Adults laughing, boisterous. Clapping each other on back, drinking.

There is a stage at the corner where musical instruments are kept. That's where you'll be singing. You can see an elderly couple sitting on a far bench. The man unwrapping his muffler from his neck and wrapping it around his wife's. You smile softly at the display inspite of yourself.