The Neighbour

TWENTY-EIGHT

I can feel her nod.

"Can I come?"

"Of course you can, darling. The girls have been asking for months."

And I've been putting them off for months, unprepared to step outside my comfort zone.

Well—not anymore!

New and improved Ana is doing this.

Why?

Because she fucking can!

***

"My favourite part is when he took her to the stables," comments Wendy, Nan's seventy-year-old neighbour. "I've always wondered what it would be like to be taken from behind."

I smile, mentally declaring Wendy my new favourite person.

"I never did roll around in the hay in my younger days," she admits, defeated. "I suffer terrible hay fever."

As it turns out, this month's book is some raunchy novel set in the country. Nan—in her haste to catch me up—described it as Fifty Shades of Grey with cowboys. Helen is hosting this meeting and I can't believe the effort she's gone to. Champagne and canapes are tossed around haphazardly as each lady takes it in turn to discuss their preferred smut. Even the dress code is somewhat fancy.

"Overall, I give it four stars."

"Why not five?" I ask, determined to immersive myself into conversation, despite having not read the book.

"He had a tattoo of his mother's name," she informs. "That shit is cringe as fuck."

"See, I thought the same," interjects Melanie, retired social worker. "But his cock piercing made up for it."

The room roars with agreement, everyone in favour of the cock piercing. Loud murmurs take place as discussion moves to matters of metal studs and multiple orgasms.

"I wonder what that must feel like?' asks Helen, gazing off into the distance.

The rest all follow, eyes glossing over as their imagination takes charge. Stillness settles and—having felt like an intruder all evening—now feels like my time to contribute.

"I can shed some light on this."

Nan—sat to my right—quirks a brow. "You can?"

Helen interrupts, "Freddie?"

I nod.

"OH MY GOD!" yells Nan. "Freddie has a cock piercing?"

Helen is practically hanging from her chair.

"And?" questions Wendy, waiting with bated breath.

"Five stars!"

The room applauds, girlish giggles soon following. Nan places her hand on top of mine, knowing that between my laughs there's pain present. Bringing Freddie into conversation elevates my mood, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss him terribly. Charlotte, too.

"I'm getting some air," I say, heading towards Helen's back door.

Nan knows I need some time alone and doesn't follow. Thankfully, I make it out without bumping into anyone and manage to catch the early evening sky before it disappears into complete darkness. Purples and blues swirl in synchronicity, creating a runway for the few stars brave enough to emerge. I park myself on the bench at the bottom of the garden, only slightly put out by this evening's breeze. In my haste to pack a bag, I didn't think to bring a cardigan. Goosebumps appear on my arms, momentarily pulling focus from the ache in my heart. I take out my phone and pull up the photo of Freddie and I in Paris, Charlotte fast asleep in her pram. The image blurbs as I fight back the tears, unable to hold off for long. I had been so happy in that moment. So high on the love I felt for my new family. Now, the love I feel for them both is still present, but my happiness has dwindled. Reality has stomped her foot and I'm forced to admit something I should've a long time ago.

I need help.

Is he okay? x

I type out my text and message Nic, knowing she won't deny me an honest answer.

He's fine. He wants you to know

he misses you but that he's proud. x

My stomach flutters, holding onto that compliment for what it's worth. Freddie expressing his pride is the fuel I need to boost my mood. To flight.

I miss him too x

I slide my phone back into my pocket and close my eyes, taking note of the wonderful things around me. The smell of freshly cut grass crowds my nose, comforting me in ways I never knew possible. Birds chirp in the sky above me, no doubt preparing to settle down for the evening in their nests. I've never truly stopped to appreciate their harmonies. Their soothing whistle. They've always fascinated me. Their freedom to fly anywhere appeals to me in ways that go beyond any materialistic desire. Even now, I adore their happy tune. Their joyful tweets. In the distance, I hear a lawnmower and settle into the sound. I picture Freddie cutting our grass with a running Charlotte at his feet. I'm somewhere in the kitchen, probably making cookies. I'm about to take them out of the oven when Josh emerges, sinister smile on show.

"NO!"

My yell echoes around the garden, looking for anything to grab onto. Luckily, no one hears and I'm quick to extinguish any lingering thoughts about Josh. More than anything, I want Freddie to comfort me, but I also know I need to face my demons alone. I can't expect Freddie to fight my battles as well as his own. Besides, we're on a strict no-speaking agreement. Nothing official has been put in place, but I've yet to directly reach out and so has Freddie. If I'm being honest, I think we're both too scared to do it for fear of disrupting whatever recovery I'm supposed to be on. I have a meeting with Nic's friend tomorrow morning and I'm hoping she'll be able to offer me some advice.

"Ana!" Wendy's shrill voice penetrates the quiet. "Are you out here?"

"Yeah!" I reply, emerging from the shadows.

"Good!" she states. "Gina Higgins just arrived, and she wants to know all about your boyfriend's willy!"

Jesus fucking Christ!

"Shall I tell her you're coming?"

"Yes, Wendy," I reply, giggling. "Tell her I'm coming."

✨✨✨✨

Hello, lovely! 💕

You know what they say... a little calm before the storm.

Get ready for 💩 to hit the fan!

Last chance to get your theories in before the climax is revealed!

P.S, I love you lots! 😉

Rebecca xo