Shadow (Jake Seresin)

Chapter 11

Jake's POV:

When we left the base it had started to rain. She followed me back to my place, and ran inside after the storm picked up. I was kinda surprised the storm came out of nowhere. I figured it wasn't the best night for a fancy dinner date so we just rain-checked for a different day. I just ordered a pizza for us and we turned on Jaws, and just relaxed for the night. I wanted to find the right words to tell her how I felt about her. I knew I was falling in love with her, but I was so scared to tell her for so many reasons. Her and I were both determined to make it on this mission, and I wouldn't think of any other person to be my wingman during this...but if I lost her...I wouldn't know what to do with myself. But I know if I tell her I don't want her going on this mission at all, I'll look like the biggest douchebag on the planet. I know if I talk to her, she'll listen, but I also have really only been in love with a couple other girls. And both of those didn't end well...I don't wanna screw this up too. 

I went into the kitchen, because I feel like telling her tonight...I think it'll make her feel better, but I was quietly pacing back and forth, trying to psych myself up for it. 

"Jake? You okay?" Ellie yelled from the living room.

I took a couple deep breaths, and walked back out into the living room.

"You good, Jake?" She asked again, her brows furrowed. 

"Yes. No. Yes?" I was genuinely confused, because I did not know how I felt right now. 

"What's wrong?" She asked me.

"I love you." I blurted out.

She stared at me wide eyed.

Good one, Jake. Hopefully she won't get up and run out my door out of fear. 

"You what?" She smiled as her eyes started to water. 

I sat on the coffee table in front of her and took her hand gently and smiled. 

"I love you, Ellie. Ever since we went on that date at the bar, you're the only thing besides this mission that has been on my mind. I will be up front with you, though. I am so scared to love you, because of this mission. I wouldn't think of anyone else to fly with, but I don't want something to happen to you or me, and then leave the other with the heartbreak. I also don't wanna scare you off, because this is all happening so fast, but I don't wanna lose you ever, El. You're too important to me now." I told her. 

I feel like that was pretty good if I do say so myself. 

She looked at me with tears in her eyes. It had looked like she had never heard someone say that to her. She held my hand even tighter and scooted closer towards me. 

"Jake, I love you so much. Earlier today I literally told Nat and Bob that I was falling in love with you. I don't care how fast this is going. I am so in love with you it feels so crazy to me. And you being scared about loving me, I'm just as scared as you are right now. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you. I'm confident we'll both be okay. I want to be with you so badly, that I don't think anything could stop me." She smiled at me. 

She was too stubborn and had such a big will to live, I wouldn't be surprised if she was indestructible. I pulled her in for a deep kiss. The moment her lips touched mine, it felt like my entire body just burst into flames. I smiled into the kiss, and pulled her up and spun her in a circle. She squealed as I spun her, and we both had the biggest smiles on our faces. As I pulled her into a hug, she wrapped her arms around my neck, and I pulled her up so she could wrap her legs around me. She kissed me again, only there was so much more lust behind that kiss, I'm pretty sure we would have done it right there on the floor. 

After we were done, and I helped clean her up, she took a shower, and I went into the kitchen to go get us some drinks. We were both too excited with the night we just had, we couldn't really sleep at all. I came back to her sitting on my bed with her underwear and another one of my shirts on. 

"Oh sure, just take whatever is yours. It's not like that was my shirt or anything." I joked as I handed her the beer bottle I had in my hand. 

"I will gladly take it, thank you very much." She smiled up at me and pull me down for another kiss. 

As I showered, I kept replaying the moment I said I loved her over and over again in my head. I 100% could've planned that better, but I'm so glad it worked out the way it did. I also was a little comforting knowing she's also scared, but Ellie is right...I don't think even the risks this mission has can stop either of us. We both knew it was fast, but we were so happy together, we didn't really care. We just both knew if we got out of this mission alive, we'd be together for a very very long time. 

I got out of the shower, excited to get back to Ellie, so we can relax for the night. I dry off and change into what I'm wearing to bed, and walk back to see Ellie reading her phone with a sad expression on her face.

"El, you okay?" I asked.

She just looked at me. Something couldn't be right. 

"Ellie, what is it." I sat down next to her. 

"Maverick texted. It's about Commander Kazansky." She told me.

I raised a brow and went to go check the text for myself. I opened the text and then looked back at Ellie. 

'I was told to notify all of you, Commander Kazansky passed away tonight. His funeral is going to take place in a few days. I will let you know the exact date. No class until further notice.' 

Ellie and I didn't know him personally, but we heard a ton about him, especially since he was a Commander and a Top Gun graduate. We both looked looked up to him a lot. I knew Ellie was upset by it, so I sat back in bed, and she laid back against my chest. I turned off the lights and we just let the glow of the television light the room. I could feel her wrapped around one of my arms, and my head rested atop hers. I knew in this moment, even though we were both sad, I never wanted to let her go.