No other shade of BLUE but you | J Cody

Peter losing Wendy

 I knew you

Tried to change the ending
Peter losing Wendy

It was a while ago since I stormed out of Josh's house.  You'd think by then I'd have some idea of how this was all going to end for me and that it would scared me off, but it didn't. At least not for a longer period of time. Josh chased after me, wanting to fix it all, but even with a few options of public transport and the bad location, I left there on my own. I didn't want to face that woman and him again. He tried to call me a few times until he finally let up and stopped. In between, it was spring break, so we didn't see each other.

The next walk into collage became hard because I knew I would see him again and I had no idea how I would react or what to say. What made it especially hard was that despite trying hard, I haven't made any real friendship with anyone here except with J. Just with him I debate what we are going to eat, how the courses has made us even more tired and what we think is so unnecessarily complicated here. He's been my anchor for the last few months here and I've slowly become aware that I don't even know him at all and that we haven't talked about anything really deep except for our mothers' deaths. It occurs to me that I have confided in him about private and personal things of mine, just he didn't. 

Arriving at the campus, I became highly alert and turned in every direction, only to see Josh with the same stretched neck and searching gaze outside the entrance. I watched him for a while and paused in shock. I knew he was on the lookout for me. Then this blonde girl strutted in his direction, delighted to see him and instead of relaxing that he was obviously waiting for her, my heart beat even more wildly. She threw her arms around him, greeted him effusively. She even started to kiss him and just at that moment, Josh noticed me. Uneasily, I continued my way past the two of them and noticed that he was pushing her slightly away from him. Astonished, the girl looked around and caught sight of me. I knew now that he had lied to me. I had asked him directly about this relationship and he was lying. What else could he lie about?

"Hey!", Josh murmured in my direction and looked at me cautiously. "I have no time, J," I said nervously, noticing his hand brush against my arm. I didn't even want to look at the girl's face. She was probably just thinking how someone like Josh could look at someone like me like that and I couldn't even blame her. I quickly tried to get inside and realised that there were footsteps behind me.

"Amy!" Josh called after me and I stopped in resignation. He jogged to me and put on an expression that I found hard to interpret. All I knew was that it almost made me lose my breath. "I'm sorry for the way I acted the other day. I shouldn't have spoken to you like that" I looked at him and tried to read something in his face that said the opposite. Because I find it very difficult to believe him.
"I don't know what's got into me," he trailed off emphatically, running his hand through his hair a little desperately and licking his lower lip.

"Were you waiting for her or for me?", I wanted to know and he gave me a confused look. He grumbled questioningly. "Were you waiting for her or for me?", I repeated. "For you!" he replied, chuckling nervously as I do my best to make sure he couldn't read any emotion from my face, except maybe suppressed anger. I guess that was a lie too. Quietly and surreptitiously, he reached out and moved his hand down my arm to my hands. I allowed it and surrendered to his touch too, maybe I craved more. And in doing so, he dashed the small hope in me that his effect on me the other day was because of that drug. He approached me and was already so close that we could stand forehead to forehead if I were a little taller. I slumped a little and really tried to hide near him without really touching him. "Amy," he murmurs mysteriously and casually. Like he was trying to lighten the mood. "I'm really sorry"The fact that I didn't struggle or say anything seemed to let him know that everything was fine now."Why did you call me J earlier?" he now asked.