The Princess's Guard ✔️

44

"Please just kill me. Please. I can't handle this," I beg.

He draws the chair closer, reaching for my hands. "Hey, don't say that."

I let him take my hands in his. His touch is so soothing, his fingers linking through mine, strong and sure.

When I touch him like this, I'm reminded of how weak my strength is when confronted with the power of the mate bond...I want to believe I am above it, but it's virtually impossible.

"Everything is ruined. My whole life is over," I bite out, fighting past a sudden wave of emotion. My throat is burning from the pressure of holding back tears, but I don't want to come off weak in front of him.

"Things are changing, yes, but these will be positive changes," he assures me gently, brushing his thumb along the top of my hand.

Against my will, a tear slips down my cheek. I quickly wipe it away, embarrassed that I've let my emotions get the better of me.

"I've lost you," I choke out.

I've lost my mate. For the past few months, I grew an image of him in my mind that wasn't real. Now, I will be forced to move on with my life without him, and that thought is just as horrifying.

"No, Kiva, you haven't. I'm still the man you knew in that place," he tells me forcefully.

I shake my head. "You carried a lie with you forever. I know nothing about you."

"I fell for you very fast in there. It took me by surprise, because I've always been good at withholding overwhelming emotions, so when I came to know you and felt what I did, I didn't know what to do," he explains earnestly, tightening his grip on my hand.

"Don't-"

"There were many times I begged you to run away with me. I meant it. I was willing to forgo this entire operation to be with you. That's how in love with you I was and still am," he insists.

I stare back into his deep, dark eyes, brimming with true emotion. I can acknowledge that he loves me, that he is being truthful about being run away. This also means the reason for him leading this rebellion is as empowering as how he feels about me.

"I have some questions about your time in there," I decide, wanting to steer the conversation away from divulging any more emotion.

He draws in a breath, letting go of my hand. "Ask anything."

"That night you broke in and we first touched. What did you think?"

He looks thoughtful, a crease forming between his brows. "I was horrified. I had tied you to what happened to me, and I was scared and angry."

"You took a beating. Why?"

I shudder, remembering how horrible those early days were. I remember having doubts myself about Ark, and when I saw him beaten within an inch of his life, I figured my concerns were nothing more than my own dramatics.

"Some staff were whispering about the rebellion, about me potentially being involved. My second in command beat me enough to diminish suspicion," he explains, wincing at the memory.

I raise my brows. "No one can say you're not dedicated to the cause."

"No. They can't." His gaze is steady, firm. He displays nothing that can be interpreted as anything other than assuredness, confidence. He's decided he is doing the right thing, and that nothing can sway him to think otherwise anymore.

I lean forward. "Why bother training me if you were planning on kidnapping me? Doesn't that make your life harder?"

"It was part of the ruse. Plus it was a good thing. You needed something to focus on, and even though I didn't care for you in the beginning, I'm glad I took training you seriously," he notes.