I Only Want What I Can't Have

Chapter 11

Patrick and I explored all over the city. After walking up and down a few streets and taking in the atmosphere of the city, we found a hole-in-the-wall pizzeria for lunch, where we enjoyed some of the best pizza we'd ever had in our lives. After lunch, Patrick suggested we take the ferry over to visit the Statue of Liberty, which we did with far too much excitement for two teenagers. We stood at the top of the statue, with tons of other tourists surrounding us. Patrick stood behind me and wrapped his arms tightly around me as we gazed at the city, and for once, as I looked out at this huge, bustling, noisy city, I found that I didn't hate it as much as I thought I would.

Patrick held me there for a long time, oblivious to the people around us. I leaned my head back against his shoulder, smiling when he pressed a gentle kiss to my cheek. I keep coming back to this point, but I'd never been held this way. I was so used to quick, meaningless relationships, that every time Patrick did anything out of my ordinary, I was simply awed by it. Of course, it was at that moment that my phone rang. It wasn't a text message this time, but an actual ringtone that signified one specific person was calling me. I hesitated, not really wanting to answer it at that moment.

Patrick straightened up, looking at me in confusion. "Soph? Sweetheart, are you going to answer that?"

I sighed heavily and stepped away from Patrick, tearing my eyes off the gorgeous city skyline and pulling my phone from my pocket. I looked at it, then turned it so that Patrick could see the name displayed across the screen: Rylan.

Patrick's shoulders sagged a bit, but then he shrugged. "Answer it, Soph."

Gritting my teeth in preparation, I flipped the phone open and held it to my ear. "Hello?"

"Sophie? Where the hell have you been?" Just the sound of Rylan's voice made me want to snap the phone shut immediately, but I didn't. I looked at Patrick, who was looking down at his shoes, trying not to eavesdrop.

"I told you," I said, "I'm out of town. I'm not going to be home for a while. What do you want?"

"Well damn," Rylan laughed, used to my attitude, "I miss you too. When will you be back?"

"Not until the end of the summer." Patrick was facing away from me now, pacing aimlessly to make it look like he wasn't listening. I knew he was.

"Shit. That sucks. I was thinking about having a party this weekend, since my parents won't be home. I wanted you to come."

"Well I can't," I stated, rolling my eyes. He'd done this before. I would conveniently be the only person he invited to this party, and it would be a pathetic attempt to sleep with me. Well, I say pathetic, but I suppose it worked out for him the last time he'd tried. I shivered at the thought. "Look, why don't you invite one of the other girls you're always hanging around with? Why do you keep calling me?"

"Fuck, Sophie, you don't need to be a bitch about it. I just thought we could do some catching up. I miss you, baby."

"Don't call me that."

"Seriously, Sophie? Don't be like that."

"We broke up, Rylan. A while ago."

"Yeah, thanks for the reminder," Rylan sighed on the other end of the phone line, and for a second, I almost felt bad. He clearly was not as over me as I was over him. "I was serious, though. I do miss you. I miss what we had."

Oh, now that was just too much. "What we had?" I asked, trying to keep my voice low enough to not disturb any of the other people around us. Patrick was a few feet away now, looking out at the city from a different window. "Rylan, what the fuck did we have? You only ever call me when you want an easy fuck."