I Love You is a Horrible Thing to Say: A Tale of Two Mates

Chapter 21: The Return Home

Skylar's POV:

I was staring out the window with no intention of really thinking about anything. I was afraid to let myself think of the only things that breached my mind.

My mother, my brother, and Justin .

I bit my lip nervously and brushed my hair out of my face. Not sure what to do with myself I looked around the room. I was still laying in a hospital bed in the psychiatric ward. The room was very- white. The bed was white the walls were white, the door was painted white- that's all there was to look at. It was making me sick to my stomach. I just wanted to go home and sleep in my own room. But I couldn't go back home. There was no way of showing my face back at home.

I broke my mothers heart, and even worse I had abandoned my brother. I couldn't go back home. Home, wasn't home anymore. I couldn't go back to where I had been either. I wasn't going to go back into that life. I was better then that.

I just sat in my bed trying to remember the last thing I saw before I lost my memory. I had only had amnesia for a little while. I could remember waking up for the first time, to see Lily, Leo and Justin. I remembered stripping. I remembered my life up until just before I woke up thinking I was Alice. Then nothing blank. An empty slot in time. I remembered my time as Skyler the stripper, and Alice the crazy suicidal girl with memory loss.

I looked at the door waiting someone to walk in. Well not just a someone, I was waiting for Justin. As stupid as it sounded I missed him. I needed to see him. I looked at my hands trying to occupy my mind with something. I was so bored. I needed to go for a walk. Or anything. I needed to do something before I lost my mind. I've been sitting in this bed for days. I couldn't even remember what day it was. I continued to lay in the bed until I drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

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I groaned internally as I fought to stay asleep. I didn't want to wake up quite yet. I didn't want to face reality. I liked sleep. I squeezed my closed eyes hard and begged for sleep. But when it didn't come I signed. I laid in bed just wishing I could once again slip into the dark dreamless state I found so much comfort in.

But then I noticed something. Light pressure, someone was stroking my hair. I shot right up in bed ready to punch someone in the face when I got a good look at the person who had invaded my private space.

She had bright blue eyes and light blonde hair. She had dark circles under her eyes and she looked just plain tired. She was my mom.

"Hi." I said my voice cracking, I was still groggy with sleep.

She just smiled at me. Both of us had no idea what to say. "How have you been?" She finally asked after an awkward moment of silence.

"I've been good..." I said. I was nervous. I ran away from my family after everything my mother and I went through I ran away. I abandoned her due to my own fear of being lied to, of being left alone. "Mommy..." I said my voice thick with tears, my eyes watery "I'm so sorry!" Then I broke into tears. It was so relieving to see her now after all these years. I cried and cried until finally she too broke down and gathered me into her arms and held me as if her life depended on it.

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Two days had passed since they finally cleared me to go home. I left the hospital with a new found respect for food and learned that trying to commit suicide was not a good thing. And that it took days of psych evaluations and a good amount of medication to be able to finally leave that annoyingly white room they stuck you in.

My mother and I talked for hours catching up on what we had missed. She cried when I told her I had stripped for money. And I had broken down when she mentioned how broken Caden had been when I left. It was the worst feeling ever to realize that you left the one person who needed you, alone. But I couldn't do anything to change what I had done. It was done. Over with.

I was in the passenger seat of my mothers car staring out the window while we road in a comfortable silence. Justin was going to get married in four days. I closed my eyes and forced myself to think of something else. It was only a few moments later until we reached the rose colored Victorian house I had called home.

"Welcome Home Skylar!" My mother said her voice delighted.

I looked at the home nervously afraid to face that certain blue eyed blonde hair seven year old that probably held more resentment towards me than anyone else. As the car stopped to an abrupt halt I winced. I didn't want to go into that house. But I had to. The first person I saw was Lily. Her features looked nervous. I hadn't seen her since the first day we had arrived here. We didn't get much of a chance to talk ever since the whole I went crazy thing. But I knew she knew who I was. She knew I had lied to her. I walked up to the house slowly and noticed tears in her eyes. We were best friends what's more we were family. She was all I had for three years and I was the only thing she had counted as family. I wrapped her in my arms and she cried. All I could do was mumble a pathetic apology. "Sorry."

She pulled away and looked at my with determined eyes. She had forgiven me. She nodded at me and said "Bitch you owe me!"

I laughed and said "I know."

"You're family is great by the way. I wish we could stay here forever."

"We can if you want."

She looked at me with hope. We both wanted, we both craved a normal life. And as much being here hurt me this place was the best place to get that. "We'll talk about it later." I nodded.

There was someone I needed to talk to. I walked into the house and realized how much I had missed. I walked up the stairs and turned towards the door I knew was Caden's room. When I had left he had shared a room with my mother. But I knew as he got older they were goings to give him his own room. I looked at the wooden door with the name CADEN on it and gathered my courage and opened the door.

My heart stopped. That adorable toddler I knew had grown up. I was now staring at a seven year old with the same blond hair and blue eyes that my brother had only now those eyes were laced with bitterness and pain.

"Caden I'm sorry I left. I had to." That's all I could get out before Caden rushed up to my and started to hit my with his little fist.

"Why did you leave?" He asked. "You left me all alone. How could you. I had to protect mom by myself. I thought you loved me! I thought that-" he stopped yelling he stopped hitting. He just fell into my arms and cried.

Sorry about no Justin or Leo. They're coming back soon!!! I promise!