A Homecoming

These Little Black Clouds

(TW: Mention of Suicide)

"How long has it been?"

Both Jisoo and Lisa looked at Hyunwoo, "Three days, Tito." Lisa said, "And I don't think he even goes out to eat, right unnie?"

"Last time we talked, he was okay." Jisoo bit her lip, trying to think if she said something to him, or even suggest anything that may have triggered his absence. "I think we should check on him."

Hyunwoo sighed thoughtfully. "We haven't talked about why he suddenly showed up here almost a month ago. But the last time I saw him like this was when his mother, my sister, left him and his dad."

"He stayed in his room, he didn't eat nor speak to anyone. It went on for almost a week that his father had to break his door to check if.. if he was still with us."

Hyunwoo's voice cracked and his eyes brimmed with tears. "He went in just in time because Haein was in a really bad shape. He was just 13 that time, still so young. Still had a lot to live for. But we almost lost him."

Inhaling sharply, he turned away from the girls to wipe his tears and grab a bottle of whisky. Pouring a glass for him and the two girls, he continued, "Before that, he was a normal child. Happy and content with his parents. They built this place for him, and for years they were happy."

"Until my sister had a change of heart."

He paused to shake his head and drink his whisky, "Suddenly she wanted out."

"Out? What do you mean, out?" Jisoo asked in shock.

"Out of the island. Out of the relationship. Out of their family."

Lisa cursed out loud, while Jisoo had to take a long drag from her drink. Their reactions made Hyunwoo laugh humorlessly. "It was like a switch turned and suddenly she went cold."

"And no one, not even her own brother or her son could talk her out of leaving.

"She left?" Lisa asked, pouring herself a double. Jisoo wanted too as well, but she feels that she had to stay sober to remember all these.

"In the middle of the night. Back then, there were no direct flights so you had to travel to the port and take an overnight ferry to the main island where the airport is. No one knew she was gone until the next day because she was already living in a different house from her husband and Haein. But I think.. I think Haein saw her leave. Maybe even begged her to stay."

"Because soon as she left, Haein locked himself in his room and stopped eating."

Whatever happened recently surely triggered Haein's deep-seated trauma, Jisoo thought, her concern growing more and more as she tried to absorb Haein's story. Before today, she tried coming up possible reasons why he decided to take refuge in the island. There has to be something, and her biggest bet was heartache. But in reality, heartache just barely scratched the surface.

Silence ruled the three, and it was only broken by Lisa's soft sobs. Jisoo reached out and rubbed her back. "Is there anything we can do for Haein, Tito?"

Once again, the old man looked at Haein's dark villa, his eyes full of concern and sorrow. "I wish I know the answer to that, Jisoo. But at this point, all we could do for him is be there and make sure he knows that he's not alone."

—

At a little past 2am, Jisoo couldn't keep still. She was recalling Tito Hyunwoo's story about Haein's childhood and it made her want to do something, anything, to make sure that he's alright.

Abandonment hits a little close to home for Jisoo. Growing up, she never had a real bond with her parents. Before moving to the island, she felt like a spare tire - not given her own free will nor direction. For her, it was a half-life, and if she didn't take matters into her own hands, she would still be stuck in a soulless existence.

But, this right here, is not a competition on whether who got the worst trauma. For Jisoo, what's important and what's urgent right now is to make sure that he does not self-destruct the way he did when his mother left. Or in any way for that matter.

"Hi, miss! Sorry, is the kitchen still open? Can we order food?" A guest inquired, breaking into Jisoo's thoughts. It was past 2am, and usually, the kitchen is open only until 11pm. She was about to turn them away, but instead, their question provided her reason to check on him.

"You know what, I can make something for you. Is chicken okay?"

—

"Hey.. It's Jisoo. If you're up, come to the door please. I need to give you something."

Jisoo listened close to the door, hoping and praying for any sign of movement with bated breath. Tito Hyunwoo's words echoed in her mind, "He went in just in time because Haein was in a really bad shape."

How long did his father waited behind his bedroom door before he decided to barge in? What would she do if she finds him in bad shape? How would Tito Hyunwoo take it if something bad happens to Haein under his watch?

All these thoughts heightened her anxiety caused by the still closed door. Again, she knocked and softly called out his name. "Haein? Please, open the door."

Finally, she heard the knob turning. Stepping back, she cocked her head and smiled when she saw Haein step out of the dark room.

"Hi! I had extra time so I made these." She said, handing him a bag. "Made that myself. Hope you like chicken."

Haein looked at the bag and then to Jisoo. "It's late. You shouldn't have."

Shaking her head, Jisoo insisted, thrusting the bag closer to him and blocking the door with her foot to prevent him from closing it on her. "Take it, Haein. Please."

Try as she might, she couldn't mask the imploring tone of her voice. Maybe it was worry, maybe it was desperation, or maybe she's just starting to care a little too much for the brooding Haein.

Unpredictable as it is; as wild as it is

When you spend enough time in the sea,

you'll eventually learn how to read the waves.

Jisoo gently pushed the bag into Haein's hands, clearly showing she wouldn't take no for an answer. "I don't want you getting sick. So eat."

Sighing, Haein took the bag. "Thank you, Jisoo."

Something about the way he said her name for the first time made Jisoo's ears heat up that she had to look down in fear that she might be blushing too much. She never knew that such a small gesture could illicit this kind of reaction from her.

"Also," She said, finally looking up to meet his eyes, "I wanted to ask if you want to surf with me and Lisa tomorrow? The board that she was telling you about just came in and she wanted you to be the first to use it."

"If.. if you want, of course."

His reaction was unreadable, and his pause slightly worrisome. "I'll think about it."

"Cool. 6am. We'll be by the shore." Nodding slightly, she smiled at him before stepping away from his door and turning to leave.

"Jisoo." Haein called out reluctantly, like saying her name hurts. Facing him, Jisoo saw a strained reaction on his face. "I don't need your pity."

Jisoo looked down and bit her lip. Shifting, she meets his bloodshot eyes. "Not everyone's out to get you. Not everyone's out to hurt you or leave you. There are people who wanna help."

"It won't cost you anything to try and trust them, Haein. You don't have to carry your burden alone."

"It's okay to let people in."

She paused and studied his face, and something in her broke. Hiding the pain she feels for him, Jisoo smiled and pointed at the bag she gave him. "Eat, okay? I'll see you in the morning. Good night."