Pink and Gold and Blue • Yatoyota

Part 1

Yotasuke was never one to initiate interactions with other people, let alone organize a whole evening with someone. Nevertheless, he found himself making exceptions over and over again when it came to certain blonde. There was him again, nervously hugging his legs with his right arm while writing what seemed to be a dry and uninterested text message, that secretly hid a messy ball of emotions.

It was the day prior to New Year's Eve and that past week the boy had a single memory replaying in his mind. Well, maybe it wasn't just him. Maybe just a few blocks away there was another boy that felt the same way. Yotasuke's heart skipped a beat when he managed to press "send".

"I remembered."

When Yatora heard the notification that broke the silence, he couldn't help but get his hopes up that the author of that message was a certain blue-eyed genius. He quickly brushed the thought off, assuming it was Hashida sending more of his inappropriate memes. But, once he realized the message wasn't followed by other 10 notifications, his curiosity peaked again. He gently placed the perfectly sharpened pencil on the table and lifted his phone faster than he probably would've if he had no hopes left.

Before reading the text, pink filled his cheeks just by recognizing the name of the sender. If the color of his emotions was pink when he read the name "Yota", he definitely felt red when he read the content of the message. His mind came back to the same memory that was haunting him at night lately. He remembered last year's New Year's Eve when he told Yotasuke Takahashi something around the lines of "I like you, but I also hate you so much it makes me sick". For some strange reason, the fact that the shorter boy felt the same way made him extremely happy. Not just because of the "liking" part, it was actually the "hating" part that accelerated his heart the most. Was he a masochist after all? Something about being relevant to that boy made his temperature rise and cheeks fill with a delicate yet intense pink. He also remembered clearly how the golden fireworks filled the boy's blue eyes; how a thin cloud of mist escaped his mouth in surprise when Yatora told him how he felt; how his delicate hands that created breathtaking works of art hugged the hot cup of amazake they shared that night and how after he asked the boy to meet again the next year his answer was a sarcastic "if I still remember it" with a teasing smile he had never seen before, a smile that stuck to his brain like a tattoo. It was moments like that that made him wonder if the feelings he had for his so called "friend" were more than just admiration or rivalry.

"See you tomorrow, Yotasuke-kun."

Just like that, Yaguchi Yatora was able to accelerate Yotasuke's heart once again with the simplest sentences. The black-haired boy kicked his feet in a mixture of embarrassment and frustration. Embarrassment because he clearly expressed that he wanted to see Yatora for New Years and frustration because he knew exactly what he was feeling, but couldn't do anything about it. He acknowledged his "little crush" for the first time after Hashida had teased him about it a couple times. At first he was in a state of denial, but with time he realized that the way he felt with his other friends (well, plural wouldn't work in this case, the only contacts on his phone continued to be his family, Hashida and Yatora after all) was not even close to the intense discomfort he felt on his stomach when he saw the golden-eyed boy. The worst part of it all was that the horrible feeling became somehow addicting. He wanted more. Hell, he would even stop playing Pokémon for some minutes just to hang out with Yaguchi. He would break all the little silly rules he had created in his life just to spend an evening with him. He would let the boy share food with him; he would let him rest his arm on his shoulders; he would let Yatora watch him paint for hours nonstop... to be honest, he also wanted to do those things himself, but only if it was that blonde delinquent the one on his side. He then started to freak out even more when he remembered he had promised Hashida he would be more open about his feelings, especially when it came to the ones he felt for Yatora. Yotasuke had an interesting conversation with the tall boy about feelings around Christmas. It wasn't a normal occurrence for Takahashi to talk about his struggles with Hashida, or anyone, really, but the stars aligned in some strange way that day and the small boy couldn't help opening up a bit to who he started to consider a friend. When he confessed his feelings for Yatora, the tall boy seemed too unimpressed.

"Was it that obvious?" asked Yotasuke, a little terrified.

"Quite the opposite, if I didn't know you well enough I would've thought you hate him. But, knowing you, it is impossible to ignore how you actually care a lot about him. And not in a friendly way." answered Hashida with a playful grin.

Yotasuke pouted, angry at himself for allowing his own heart to melt for someone who would never like him back. The boy could've been bad at understanding other people, but he wasn't stupid enough to not acknowledge that Yaguchi had many options when it came to dating. He was attractive, good with people, extremely hardworking, intelligent, sweet, a very strange mixture between handsome and cute... it wouldn't be hard for him to get any partner he wanted.

"I already told you to stop making that face, you're gonna get wrinkles on your forehead by the time you step on your twenties." said Hashida, pulling the blue-eyed boy out of his thoughts. "Hear me out, I know I am not the owner of the truth and that I may be wrong, but if you want to stop pushing people away you'll need to start being more open about the things you feel. Especially when it comes to Yaguchi. If you want him, get him. Waiting in fear and pushing him away won't help anyone."

Yotasuke stayed silent, part of him wanted to argue and deny everything, but he knew his friend was right.

"And I know it's easier said than done. I know you struggle a lot with opening up and telling other people what you feel, but at least know that people won't hate you once they hear the truth. You are human, it's only natural to have your own essence."

"What am I supposed to do then? Just go there and tell him I've been in love with him since last year's New Year's Eve?" asked the shorter boy with a condescending tone. He knew the other was right, maybe that's why he was so defensive.

"I don't expect you to do that, but at least promise me you'll try to be more open. Just a little bit."

"But- " tried to argue the shorter boy.

"Please." begged Hashida in response.

"...alright. I'll try."

With that conversation, Hashida helped more than he probably realized. He gave Yotasuke the strength to text Yatora and "invite" him to the shrine after all. Now the blue eyed boy was equally scared and exited for whatever was going to happen the following the day.

The night went by slowly, since both Takahashi and Yatora had a strange feeling that kept them from sleeping properly. When the blonde woke up the next morning, he only had one thought on his mind. He was creating scenarios in his head non-stop of what could possibly happen that evening, both positive and negative, exited of seeing the same Yotasuke he had seen a year ago.

On the other hand, the blue-eyed boy seemed terrified. He loved spending time with Yaguchi, for many reasons, but he couldn't help but overthink everything that he had done up until that moment. He couldn't understand anything about other people, even less so when it came to the strange character of Yatora. How was he supposed to know what the other boy was thinking when not even the blonde had a clue? Was he happy or at least a bit exited to meet Yotasuke at the shrine? Did he ever like him or was just the "hate" part that stood out? The questions were killing him slowly. He hated feeling that way; he hated the fact he was exited to go meet him; he hated the fact he couldn't stop overthinking everything; he hated the fact that the boy wasn't leaving his mind anytime soon and he hated the fact that he didn't actually hate Yatora anymore. Not even close to it, actually. He felt frustrated that the other boy, having everything, had to choose something so painful like art. It was a dumb decision and seeing his spirit die out in stress was slowly killing him inside. Although saying he hated Yaguchi for it was a very poor choice of words. He hated seeing him entering a place that had kept Yotasuke captive for way too long. He hated seeing his own light at the end of the tunnel dying down slowly. The truth was, he hated the situation so much because he loved Yatora.

"Yota! Time to wake up. You must be exited to see your friend at the shrine so make sure to finish all your chores and tasks by then, ok?" said Yotasuke's mom after delicately opening the door.

"Will do, mom." That was his cue to stand up and start his day. He had many hours until he had to meet up with Yatora at the shrine, so he had enough time to think about what he was going to say exactly. Maybe planning everything out could bring him a bit of peace of mind.