june and the blond boy

Overwhelming Emotions

"i'm just so—" i let out an annoyed sigh, rubbing my eyes with my palms. "angry. and sad. and confused, and happy." i whined. i could feel his laughter vibrating against my body. "i don't fucking know!"

the overwhelming emotions came back yet again as i felt tears stream down the side of my face. i was sure james couldn't tell until my body began shaking and my crying became audible. i felt his curls tickle my stomach as he moved to look up at me. "hey, don't cry." he said, crawling up closer to me. i could tell he was probably annoyed with how much my mood would shift but he comforted me anyway, cradling my head into his hands and pulling me closer to his chest as he sat against the headboard.

"you don't have to deal with him again, okay? he's gone."

i wasn't sure if that had a hidden meaning behind it or if it was just one of the sweet nothings he continued whispering.

"i don't get it. i just don't get it!" i cried. "he's an asshole. that's their nature, it's not your fault."

i was embarrassed that james had to see me like this. he wasn't just hearing me cry and seeing me shake, he could feel it too. i kept my eyes closed to hide from the embarrassment and the terrified look i half-expected to be on his face. i prepared for him to chuckle awkwardly or move away.

but he didn't— instead, he started stroking my hair softly and leaving kisses on my temples.

james was stroking my hair and kissing me— well, my forehead. my mind went blank and my breathing hitched. just then, all the bad thoughts about russell and my mom, and everything else that had me breaking down, were gone, and my brain was stripped of all negativity and replaced with james.

james. james. james.

the shaking stopped. it actually stopped. normally it would take a while for my body to stop its self naturally, but this time it was the warmth and safety that was james' embrace.

"see, just like that. you're okay." i felt his boice boom through his chest, against my ear. "i'm okay." i nodded, catching my breath. i rubbed my forehead that was beginning to ache and realized i'd been holding onto james for dear life, with my left hand gripped firmly to his shirt on his right shoulder, and my other hand held onto the hem.

james' hair fell in front of my face as he leaned over and took the medicine from my bedside table, handing it to me then getting the water. "thanks." i croaked, tossing the pills in my mouth and grabbing the cup as he guided it to my mouth. after i took a sip, i wiped my mouth and blurted, "i can drink myself, asshole. thanks."

he only laughed and loosened his hold on me a bit. shoving the glass back into his hand, i punched his shoulder. he gave me a look of what was that for? and rubbed his shoulder. "fucking idiot." i kept on hitting his chest. "quit it!" he barked, grabbing ahold of my wrists. "what is your problem?" he pulled back to look at me.

"you! you're my problem!" my voice was just below a yell. "why am i your problem?" he frowned.

"because." i grumbled, moving away from him and crossing my arms over my chest.

"what'd i do?" he held his hands up in defense.

"you know what you did." i huffed, tucking my hair behind my ears roughly.

"beat russell's ass?" he leaned back, resting on his elbows as he kicked his shoes off his feet that hung over the edge of the bed.

"yes. and don't get comfortable, you're not sleeping here."

"i just did what everyone else wanted to do." he shrugged. he was being way too cocky. "no, shut up." i mumbled.

"i don't get why you're mad at me." he blinked.

"because! look at you!" i gestured my hand to his face. "what? you're upset over a little scratch?"

i snorted. "a scratch? go take a look in the mirror, tough guy." he shrugged, leaving the room and entering the bathroom.

"gnarly." i heard him say as i entered the bathroom behind him.

"go downstairs." i ordered, motioning for him to leave the bathroom. he raised an eyebrow at me. "go." i repeated. he did as i said, going downstairs while i grabbed towels from under the sink and wet them.

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