Ruled, ᴘᴇᴛᴇʀ ᴋᴀᴠɪɴsᴋʏ

...Stays in Vegas

''What do you mean Peter didn't sleep in your room?''  I try not to spiral. I really do but considering our entire history together it would only be right for something to happen when we think that it's over. Of course. ''Where is he?'' My hands begin to sweat and there's no moisture left in my mouth for me to swallow but I still do, and it hurts.  

''I...I don't know! '' He raises his hands. '' I thought he'd be here with you...I've been calling him since I woke up and he doesn't answer.'' He informs me when I grab my phone, clearly anticipating my intentions. Regardless I click on his name and let it ring. It rings in an infinite loop until it reaches his voicemail. I hang up before I can hear his stupid greeting: It's Kavinsky, if I didn't answer, don't call me again. ''See?''

''Rita, I'm sure everything is fine!'' LJ steps in, her voice bringing me out of my dark mind but it's not nearly enough to pull me out completely. I glance at my phone again. We agreed to meet by the Hotel's chapel at three which is in half an hour. I sit down. I don't care if my dress gets wrinkly. I'm not sure I'll get to get married anyway. Lara Jean grabs my hands with hers, the temperature difference is quavering. Hers are warm and soft while mine are cold as ice. It's like my fingers are one degree from falling off like icicles. LJ rubs her fingers on mine in a failed attempt to warm them up. 

''Yeah. He must have gone to get something last minute.'' Isaac says but I know he doesn't believe his own words. 

''Yeah. I'm sure it's all good,'' I say and force out a smile but I'm just trying to make myself feel better. I'm not sure at all. I'm scared, so scared all my blood has vanished from my body and rendered me frozen. Literally. Lj continues to rub warmth into my hands. 

I tell myself I'm exaggerating and that Isaac is probably right but how can I not be scared after everything we've been put through? How can I calm myself down? 

16 hours before  

I toss my bags onto the bed, not bothering to explain my abrupt departure to Lara Jean and Isaac, and dash out the door, my heart racing with urgency.

I bypass the elevator and instead race down three flights of stairs, my footsteps echoing in the empty stairwell. Past the lobby, past the serene chapel, and through the grandiose double doors of the casino, I go. My gaze momentarily lingers on a striking red Ferrari on display, but it's merely a fleeting distraction amidst the dazzling spectacle of lights, the symphony of sounds, and the throngs of people.

Exhaustion from the long flight washes over me; it's well past one in the morning, and my stomach gnaws with hunger. Yet, I'm propelled forward by an unyielding determination. It feels like an impossible quest, seeking Peter in this vast sea of people. But I press on. I would search for him for an eternity if need be, for he is the love of my life, and my heart refuses to rest until he is found.

As I navigate through the bluster of the casino, the minutes seem to stretch into hours. Neon lights cast ethereal glows, creating a surreal atmosphere, while the incessant chiming of slot machines and the chatter of patrons create a symphony of distractions. My tired eyes scan the crowd, searching for any sign of Peter's sweet familiar face. All I want to see.

I weave through the maze of tables, my heart beating in rhythm with the thousand sounds that engulf me. The scent of rich, decadent foods wafts from nearby restaurants, making my empty stomach protest even louder. I push aside my hunger once more.

For a fleeting moment, doubt creeps whispering that this endeavor might indeed be impossible and all I want to do is sit down and cry. Yet, I refuse to surrender to despair. Love fuels my determination, and there is no stronger fuel.

I pass rows of gamblers lost in their own worlds, perhaps betting too much, couples sharing tender moments, and groups of friends celebrating together. I see everything but him.