No Second Chances [ON HOLD]

Chapter 2: Impostor Syndrome

Me: No, I'm good.

Tabitha: You should've hung around. British hottie was asking about you!

And just like that, my heart is hammering in my throat again. I can't quite summon the nerve to ask if "British hottie" had a name.

Me: Asking what?

Tabitha: If you were seeing anyone. He said he's with the English dept if you're interested.

I hunch forward and let my forehead rest against the polished faux-wood surface of my desk, with my phone cradled in my lap.

Me: What did you tell him?

Tabitha: That you're allergic to the humanities lol.

I squeeze my eyes shut. Tabitha may be my bestie here on campus, but she has no idea what I went through with Jamie. I did my best to leave my memories of him behind in NYC, along with my real best friends. Penny and Lauren both still live there, busy with their own careers, but maybe I'll catch one of them on a lunch break. I send Tabitha a suitable emoji, then fire up the long-running group chat.

Me: SOS!

Penny replies a moment later, to my monumental relief. She'll tell me if I'm losing it. She's a psychiatrist, after all.

Penny: Cora? What's up?

Me: The weirdest thing just happened.

Lauren's name pops up with three hovering dots. Perfect. It's a miracle to find them
both free at the same time.

Lauren: Just got out of a deposition. What I miss?

I hold my breath and text the name I dared not speak aloud for three long years.

Me: Jamie.

Penny: Oh no 🙈

Lauren: Wait, where are you? Are you in town?

Me: No, Wallingford. I think I saw him here.

Penny: Why would he be there?

Me: I have no idea!!!

Penny: You didn't talk to him?

Me: No, I ran away 😬

Lauren: GOOD!

Me: I'm not sure it was him. Maybe I was seeing things??

Lauren: Girl, it was him. It was definitely him.

When it comes to life advice, Lauren is honest to a fault. And this is the opposite of what I was hoping to hear from her.

Me: How do you know?

Lauren: Just like him to show up out of nowhere and fuck with your head right now. I bet he saw that Rising Star award you just won.

Penny: Well, that's a leap.

Lauren: Wait, Penny, didn't you tell me David saw him this summer?

My eyes pop open wide. David is Penny's husband, a big shot Wall Street investment banker. He and Jamie didn't exactly run in the same circles. They saw each other? In New York? Why is this the first I'm hearing of it?

Me: Wait what???

Penny: ummm

Lauren: YOU DIDNT SPILL THE TEA TO CORA? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

Penny: There was no tea. It was nothing. David was running in Central Park and bumped into him. He asked how Cora was doing.

Lauren: And did your idiotic man-child of a spouse tell Cora's idiotic fuckboy of an ex where she could be located?