positions (Ariana Grande/You)

16. your mind, body, and soul

Ariana nodded quickly. You reached for the loofah on the rack. However, she stopped you in your tracks. "No, use your hands." There were undertones of desperation in her voice. "Please."

You pressed a dollop of your new body soap onto your palm. You rubbed your hands, before starting with her shoulders. You rubbed your hands, before placing them on her shoulders.

Ariana was pliant under your touch. The only sounds heard were the small drips of water escaping and her soft sighs. You mapped out her back, refamiliarising yourself with her tattoos, like road markers on a street you had frequented.

When you were done, she faced you once again. You grabbed the bottle and pressed some soap onto her awaiting hands.

It was pure reflex, when your eyes trained on the moving object, like cats with laser pointers. In this case, it was her hands, soaping herself all over.

Your embarrassment grew with the smirk on Ariana's lip.

"I didn't mean to...I'll just turn on the tap."

"Won't be the only thing that's turned on." Cold wall tiles came into contact with your back, but you couldn't seem to care, not with Ariana pressed flush against you.

The feeling of her skin on yours flooded memories you tried to repress months ago into your head, like a montage reel.

You had never known desire like this. All your life, wanting, despite not having, was enough. The closest feeling was wishing to have the latest toys like all the other kids did when you were younger.

In fact, you stopped wanting when you realized your mom was not going to stay with you ever again.

Now, it clawed your stomach like a hungry beast, desperate to be satiated. The intensity scares you, rendering you frozen.

Are you allowed to want?

Ariana broke the silence. "Are you still hesitant about having sex?"

You swallowed. How do you put your fears into words? "It's just that... do you remember what I told you about my ex? She broke up with me after we did it." Ariana's eyes softened with realization. "I don't want the same thing to happen with us. I don't want you to regret rushing things or being with me."

"Oh, baby." Ariana cradled your face, never once breaking eye contact. "I will never feel that way."

The thought of her reciprocating, and never leaving, gave you all the assurance you needed. You can have what you want, you can have more.

You recognized that it was a privilege for you to pull Ariana in closer by her waist. And it was an honor to have her close her eyes - giving you the power to do anything to her.

Subliminally, you slipped a knee between her thighs. Your mouth hovered above the smooth expanse where her neck met her shoulders. You don't sink your teeth immediately, still having some semblance of self-control. You licked your lips as you warned, "You might have to wear a turtleneck tomorrow."

Ariana's reply was a cross between a whimper and a whine; no protest. You smiled, before biting down, driving your thigh up simultaneously.

While you were still covered with suds, the wetness on your knee was of a different kind - slicker, hotter. Ariana's hips rocked harder and harder, frantically grinding down on your thigh. On the other hand, you leave a constellation of love bites on her collarbones lazily.

"P-please," Ariana rasped out. "Need you inside me."

There was a time and place for long foreplays and torturous teasing. Now wasn't one of them, not when Ariana asked so prettily. You were never one to deny her anything.

Ariana shuddered as you slipped two fingers into her. It didn't take long for her to fall apart. You held her up as pleasure wrecked through her body until it subsided.

"Wow," Ariana whispered hoarsely. It was the only thing that was said in the span of ten minutes. During that time, you washed away the remaining bubbles, wrapped both of you with towels, and exited the bathroom.

Situated on your bed, you started drying Ariana's hair. She had no intention of letting go, glued to you like melted wax. You felt her fingers run up and down your spine. Honestly, you wouldn't have it any other way, either, even though it made drying the rest of her body a tad more challenging.

When you were both more or less dry, you stood up to get some clothes. However, the tightening grip around your waist told you to think otherwise.

"Ari, princess, I have to get us something to wear."

Your words only spurred her to koala-hug you harder. "You haven't had your turn yet."

It took a moment for you to understand what she said. "Oh, it's fine. There's always next time."

"Is touching still uncomfortable for you?" You couldn't say that it does now, not when Ariana placed feather-light kisses on your shoulders, your neck, your jaw. "That's totally okay."

It was strange but definitely welcomed, for your mind to be empty. You realized then that her touch was your anxiety reliever. So you shook your head. "I want it if it's yours. If you don't mind, maybe we can try a massage?"

"I would love to, baby." You found yourself sinking into your sheets when Ariana nudge you backward. "Do you have any oils or anything you want for the massage?"

"I got a candle from my trip." You said, sitting up. "It's in the crossbody bag."

Ariana placed a hand on your shoulder, "I'll go get it. Just lie down on your stomach for me." You did as instructed, removing your glasses as well when she left, thankfully still with a towel wrapped around her. Within moments, the soft tap of her footsteps announced her return. The room was blanketed in darkness when she turned off the lights.

With your head facing the nightstand, you watch Ariana's face get lit by the candle before placing it down. The scent perfumed the whole room gradually.

Ariana looked at you for a moment. "It smells sweet, like..." She paused, unsure how to describe it.

"You," You answered absentmindedly, remembering buying the candle the moment Ariana materialized in your mind. "I mean, like the perfume you always wear."

The corners of Ariana's mouth curved upwards as she walked toward the bed. "That's sweet." She squatted down, placing a kiss so close to the corner of your mouth, making your cheeks burned hotter. After succeeding in making you blush, she moved out of your sight. The bed dipped before you felt her weight on the back of your thighs, and then the entirety of your back as she leaned down. "Want me to play some music?" Her breath tickled your ear. You moved your head, hoping it look like a nod.

You heard some shuffle before the first notes of a classical piece started playing. While it was by no means a bad melody, you had something else in mind. "Actually, can you play your songs?"

You could feel the air still for a moment before she replied, "Okay." The thing that surprised you the most wasn't her singing, but singing a song you haven't heard before. Between her palms pressing firmly into your shoulder blades, and her soft voice, you almost lulled into sleep. However, like jolts of electric shock, the spontaneous little kisses she peppered on your back were the only thing pulling you back into consciousness.

You could tell it pleased her, the way goosebumps formed wherever her lips grazed, the way you shivered despite the heater and the candle fire.

You yawned out a question, hoping it would distract her mouth for a moment. "Is that a new song?"

"Mm, yeah. Do you like it?"

"It sounds beautiful. Then again, all your songs do."

When you finally succumbed to sleep, you don't remember much of the moments leading up to it, only a soft pressure against your forehead seconds before your eyes flutter shut.