dont let me go <3 -matt sturniolo

the letters.

(trigger warning)

matt drops chandler off at her house. they exchange hugs and kisses. when they're done, chandler walks inside and goes strait to her room. her mom and dad aren't home. its almost 7:30 pm.

while chandler is in her room, she thinks about how she's going to do this. she looks around to find five envelopes. then chandler gets out her notebook and starts to cry. she grabs her pencil and begins to write.

dear mom and dad,
thank you so much for everything you have ever done for me. thank you for bringing me to all my sports games and cheering me on, beinging me to the doctor for help, and driving me to friends houses when i needed the ride. i love you both dearly. i know you won't understand but just know that i'm so sorry and that i love you both so much.

xoxo chandler

chandler folds up the paper in to three sections and carefully places it into one of the envelopes. she writes on the from in pretty handwriting "mom & dad."

she turns back to her notebook to write another letter.

dear layla,
i'm sorry i haven't come to see you this summer. i miss you so much. and im so sorry. thank you for being my best friend through out my whole life. you've helped me through a lot: getting over boys, getting over break ups, homework, advice, and motivating me to do things. i love you a lot and i'm sorry.

love chandler

she slowly fold up the paper, again, in three sections. this time, leaving a few tears on the page. she carefully slides the letter into the envelope and writes "layla" on the front. when she's finished, she turns back to her desk and picks up her pencil to begin another letter.

dear chris,
i'm so happy i met you dude. you've help me through so much. thank you for everything you've done for me. you always know how to make me smile when i'm upset. like when i was crying because bled through my pants on my period and you pulled matt's pants down and gave them to me. i love you so much. don't forget that okay? i'm so sorry.

love chandler

as she continues to cry, chandler folds the letter in three sections again, slowly putting it in the envelope. she writes "christopher" on the front. she's sobbing now, turning to her notebook again to write a forth letter.

dear nick,
i love you. i'm so happy i met you and your brothers. you've all had an amazing impact on me. thank you so much for everything. you always help me pick out my clothes from stores when i don't know what to get. you always help me through my problems even when you are going through stuff too. i love you so much nick and i'm truly sorry.

love chandler

again, chandler folds the letter in there sections and places it into the envelope. she writes "nicolas" on the front and puts it ontop of the other three letters.

now for the hardest one.

chandler turns to her notebook and stares at the blank page. she softly exhales and picks up her pencil.

dear matt,
i don't even know where to start. i love you so much. you mean the world to me. i know you won't understand why im doing this but i just need to tell you im sorry. you'll never understand. i will always love you. thank you for everything you have ever done for me. you've held me when i needed it, talked to me when i was upset, calmed me down when i was anxious with just a touch of the finger, and loved me when it felt like no one else did. i also want to tell you that our first date was really beautiful. i know you keep saying that it wasn't but it truly was. the bridge and the flowers were absolutely amazing. you've always been by my side since we met. i love you so much, matt. never forget that.

love chandler

chandler hugs the letter and slowly folds it. she slides it into the envelope and writes "matthew" on the front. then she sets it on the pile and lays in bed, holding the stuffed bear matt got her for valentine's day and cries into it.

she finally hears the front door open. immediately she stops crying and runs to her mirror to check how she looked. its now 9 pm.

after she thought she looked like she wasn't crying hard for an hour, she walked out and greeted her parents.

"where did you guys go?" chandler asks.

"oh we just went out to eat and stopped by to see grandma," mom said.

"oh, i see."

"sorry we didn't bring you food," dad says. "we didn't know if you would be home or not."

"that's fine."

they talk a little more about their days. after about 15 minutes, laura and calvin decide to go to bed.

chandler walks back to her room. she waits till about 11 to leave the house. she grabs the letters and puts the one for layla on the counter and the one for her parents on the island table. then she walks out and brings the others to the triplets house and leaves them on their doorstep. chandler walks off to the bridge, which is about a 25 minute walk.

when she gets to the bridge, she sits on the ledge, looking out at the stars. she waits for the train sirens.

authors note:

thank you so much for almost 7 k reads!! i love you all so much. there will only be a few more chapters if that. i'm trying not to move so fast.

much love <33