Hidden Burdens (working title)

Chapter Five

He had never really been a serious reader, not even as a kid. Now and then, he found a book that piqued his interest, but it was rare. The bible, however, was not one of them. Most parts were boring to read for him and he had so many questions throughout the whole thing. One in particular was that everyone jokes about Moses and the burning bush thing, but why was no one talking about the fact Balaam's donkey speaks and he answers like this was a normal thing? Though, whenever he reads it, the donkey always sounds like the actor, Eddie Murphy, in his head.

Regardless of the questions he always had throughout the entire book, Ben still held onto a faith in God and in Jesus after these last few years. It wasn't something he could explain exactly. Again, that was Kayla's talent, while his talent was just being a friend. But, ever since his wife came into his life and introduced him to the Big Guy Upstairs, everything else seemed to fall into place. 

Ben dropped the book open on his stomach and stared up at the ceiling after he finished reading the section. He had left a voicemail, letting Leonard know they would take Kimmy. Since it was already late and she wasn't an emergency placement, the older man wouldn't get it until the next morning. It was rare when they were given a day for a new placement. Usually, it was two, three hours tops.

Ben just couldn't stop thinking about this little girl and wondered why she chose not to speak outside her family. Was it just a shyness that most kids go through in new, uncomfortable places? Or was there something keeping her from speaking? Miguel was shy and timid when he first came to their home. He had been so terrified he barely could speak and could only manage a head motion to yes or no questions. But he was able to at least tell Kayla his sister's name so they could contact their case worker to have both him and Mary together. But, apparently, this kid didn't even say one word.

So far, only neglect was reported.

You have to help this kid! The same voice inside his head, he's heard practically all his life screamed. It was the same voice that influenced his dream of becoming a foster parent, which few guys have. Most of the couples in their training classes were there because the wife wanted to do it and some took a lot of effort to convince their husbands while others jumped on board with the idea of helping support their wives, and especially the kids.

Kayla had never seen herself becoming a mom before she met Ben. She had been one of those career-focused people. But then she met and got to know Ben, who shared his passion with wanting to help kids who had suffered trauma in their lives, and fell in love with his big heart. Though, she also helped keep him grounded because sometimes his big heart can get him into trouble. Saying no was a struggle for Ben, which was why they had agreed that they wouldn't take in a placement until Ben had talked it over with Kayla, and she helped talk him through if it was a right fit or not. If Ben had things his way, they'd have a house full of kids and everything would be pure chaos, twenty-four-seven.

Ben stared up at the ceiling so far in thought he hadn't heard Kayla come into the room and sit on her side of the bed until he felt his arm being touched. He flinched at the touch, spinning his head over in Kayla's direction. His heart fluttered.

"Kay, you scared the crap out of me," he informed her, using a nickname only Ben was allowed to call her.

She snickered at him, but apologized. "You're not obsessing over this new kid, are you?" Kayla unfortunately knew him well enough to call him out when that voice of his shows its face.

Ben just shot her an annoyed glare. "I am not obsessing over anything," he stubbornly denied. He turned his head to stare in front of him at nothing in particular. "I was just thinking."

Kayla leaned close to him and began affectionately rubbing his upper arm. "You want to talk about it?"

His head dropped back against the headboard with a soft thud, now staring up at the ceiling.

Kayla continued to rub his arm, moving up and down over his shirt sleeve.

He stared at the ceiling for a moment before changing the subject. "Everything go okay with Claudia?"

"Yeah, we talked a little about the bullying and that it's only verbal harassment."

Ben placed the bookmark inside where he had been reading. "She was very adamant when I suggested going down there and talking to the school for her, that it would be a Karen thing for me to do and then had her explain what that even means." To be fair, even while growing up, he never kept up on what the other kids were doing, either. So the stuff that was relevant then was lost on him, as well.

"That term had been floating around the internet for a while," she said, adding it was one of the things mentioned by her co-workers whenever they talked about their kids or by kids of relatives or by friends' children.

Ben shook his head. "I will never understand some of the stuff kids come up with."

Kayla reached her head up to affectionately kiss him on the cheek to help him feel better. "That's why I love you." He knew she meant it as a tease. 

Ben was an easy target to pick on. Though, at the end of the day, it was all in good fun. They let the kids join in, especially Kayla, but if the kids took it too far, she would then step in and let them know as a warning. There hadn't really been a reason for Kayla to do that until Claudia came to them. So far, though, it never escalated further than a warning, thankfully.

Serious now, Kayla said, "We did talk about the stuff that had been bothering her and I encouraged Claudia to vent."

Ben looked over at once when he heard Claudia had vented to Kayla. Until now, she hadn't wanted to, especially to him. Even when Kayla had offered before.

To help the kids learn to trust them, Kayla used the method of asking what the kids needed whenever they needed to talk, whether that was advice or if they just needed to vent. That way, there would be no confusion and they could open up without judgment. Ben was still working on getting better since he was always wanting to help the kids feel better and didn't like seeing them upset. Guess letting Claudia skip school for the day helped her feel comfortable venting to Kayla.

"I also let her know that if the girls ever got physical, she has to let us know," Kayla continued. "But since it's only rude comments and jokes they're making, I told her we won't do anything for now, and told her unfortunately that kind of stuff doesn't stop after high school."

He shrugged. "That's how kids learn that kind of thing in the first place. By watching the adults in their lives. Doesn't make it right, but what can you do?"

Kayla looked over at him with a shrug of her own. "You can only control yourself and how you react."

Ben smiled on the outside, but on the inside, it pained him to know one of their foster kiddos was having to deal with bullying after everything else she's been through.

Things were silent for a moment before Kayla broke it.

"I have an important meeting first thing in the morning, but Kevin says I can be there by Zoom. So I can be here when Kimmy arrives."

He let her know he had already left a voicemail for Leonard. By lunchtime tomorrow, Leonard would probably bring Kimmy, so it would give them plenty of time to prepare. Or Ben at least while Kayla focused on work related stuff.

"You sure you're okay?" she asked, making sure, not letting it go, completely. She gave his arm another affectionate rub with the back of her fingers this time.

He reassured he would be, and that it was only the "new placement" jitters he usually gets every time. It's even worse when they get a day to prepare.

Kayla suggested saying a prayer to help him feel better. She started off by thanking God for the blessings they had, including the ones from the day, including Claudia feeling like she can open up a little more to them, and said a prayer for her, and also for Mary and Miguel, and their situation. And, lastly, they said a prayer for Kimmy and her family, along with her and Ben, to keep an open mind and to be able to share some love with them, however long she may be staying.

"In Jesus' name," Kayla prayed, which both said, "amen."

The couple finished with a kiss on the lips this time.