Wonderland: fell down a rabbit hole, you held on tight to me ('cause...

Chapter 11: i will stay with you, (i'll wait for you)

"doesn'tsoundfair" "that'snotwhateveryoneelsethinks"

It all sounds too familiar.

Pietro knows something is wrong, something other than her silence.

He's pretty sure it has something to do with that dream, it seems like everything does.

Wanda wakes up after a few hours, and they sit in silence for at least half an hour after.

There never used to be such a silence, but all Pietro wanted to talk about, wanted to know, was what had happened, where had she been, what was that dream--- the voices.

But Wanda had put up a wall; and not even Pietro was allowed in.

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"What do you want to do, then? Now that you're--- that you're alright, and awake?"

Wanda covered her mouth, and narrowed her eyes as she stared at a fixed point at the wall. She hummed, and pursed her lips. "I don't know," she said. He understood. Too much freedom after a life that lacked it, or if not lacking freedom, lacking option of what to do with freedom, and now here they were in the country of freedom, with so many options, so little restrictions.

It was overwhelming.

They could barely choose what to eat everyday, they wanted everything, and didn't know what to want at the same time.

Hanging out in their room while Pietro discovered more modern technology, and learned what he missed out on, and Wanda did...Wanda things? Journaling? Decorating her room, a lot. She started collecting crystals now, and a lot of candles. It was all really witchy, which made sense considering she was a witch. That was safe. That was routine.

But he had a feeling neither of them could stomach trying to force themselves right back into that routine, so they had to go out o the safe, out o the routine, and choose an activity---a new one---and take a chance on it.

Maybe they'd enjoy it, or maybe they'd hate it.

They wouldn't know until they chose. But first they'd have to actually choose.

"Did-- did this happen before, in the--"

Wanda shook her head, "No. Uhm, in my first mission..." her eyes darkened. "It was a standard safe mission, but I almost had a breakdown and killed more than the enemies. I- Natasha, she... there were bullets flying, and it was--- she was going to get hit, and she hated me but she was the closest to a friend that I'd made aside from Steve and I just-- I couldn't lose someone else. Not like how I lost you, and it just came out of me and--" she drew her feet close, curling up.

"You did the blast thing that when you land, the--- you showed it to me."

Wanda looked up, eyes curious. "When?"

"Nightmare."

"Ah. Right."

"So was Natasha--"

"Yeah-- yeah, it almost reached her, but it stopped before there, and just... I think it--- they said it went around her, but it knocked Steve to the wall though."

"What was your next mission?"

"Lagos."

"Oh..."

Pietro felt a pang of guilt, for too many reasons he wasn't sure he could list. Mostly, because perhaps it was his fault, for surviving, leaving her alone, that panic could have been avoided if he'd just chosen to do something safer. Catch the bullets, maybe? He'd just been so focused on saving them, he forgot to save himself.