Torn Apart (Bellatrix, Narcissa X Reader) [Book 1]

Chapter 30 - I Love You

"I overheard Cissa talking about Draco's letter. He said in his letter that you two were going to the dance, but not together. She was trying to convince Lucius to send out some money for the two of you, but he refused. But I know that she did send him something, didn't she?" remembering that she was talking about the tie that she gave to Draco, I nodded my head and told her about it. She then proceeds to tell how she got Rave to obey her, which is quite convincing. Rave is stubborn but would not refuse snacks, I guess Bella feed her and somehow made her obedient. She then asked me again about the dance. I don't know if I should tell her about Alan, about everything, because I'm worried. What if it triggered her to leave me again? I wouldn't want that.

"It was okay," I said plainly.

"Just okay, darling?"

"Yeah. I thought I could have some fun, but I guess I was wrong. Just that. I didn't even get to the part of the night where we slow dance," I chuckled softly, I felt embarrassed to tell her that. But hearing her call me those sweet nicknames, makes me long for her even more.

"Bella?" I said with a soft tone, which made her turn to face me.

"I have to tell you that, um. I missed you. So much. I really do, I thought I lost you. And I can't stop," I was on the verge of crying, again, but before I could cry, she cuts my speech halfway with a kiss. She pulls me in for a long kiss that I have missed so much. I was so emotional that night that while we were kissing, I could feel the tears coming down my face which made me pull back, away from her. But her hands were still on my cheeks and she used her thumbs to wipe my tears away.

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm so emotional tonight," I let out a soft chuckle, which made her smile.

"It's alright. But y/n, do you want to know something?" she asked me, I nodded whilst smiling seeing her face, and her eyes looking back at me.

"I missed you too. I had to stay away from the manor because I couldn't think straight. My mind was cluttered. I was angry, at you," hearing her say that made me disappointed in myself, I stared down at the bedsheets, avoiding making eye contact with her. She lifts my chin with her hooked index finger and thumb, letting me see her.

"But mostly, I was angry at myself. I let myself be stupid, letting you go and leaving you like that. It was stupid of me. When I got back to the Malfoy Manor, I got in my room and tried to forget about you. But I couldn't. I tried and tried, no matter how many times I attempted to forget, and struggled. It was still nothing, but instead, I realized something." she continued,

"Oh? What is it?" I asked her,

"I realized that I love you. That I have fallen in love with you so deeply. And I never felt this way for someone else before. I could never be this vulnerable with anyone, but when I am with you, I can express that. Then from that moment on, I tried to get back to you, but I thought you might hate me for leaving you – without saying goodbye. That scares me, that you might actually hate me for it. Do you remember back at Hogsmeade, you were at that cauldron shop with Draco and some of your other friends," she asked me back; I was speechless as I intently listened to her so I could only respond with a nod.

"I saw you there. That is when I know for sure that I really do love you, y/n. And that, it was not a joke. I think you knew I was there, you felt my presence, didn't you?" she added,

"Um, there was some moment when I felt like someone was watching me. I could only wish it was you. So, now I know that it was actually you?" but I was unsure if I get what she is trying to say, so I curiously asked again – making sure of it. Nodding her head yes, I know it now.

"I made a plan to meet you that night, but when I saw you so happy, I thought you had forgotten about me. And moved on, that is why I retreated from doing so." She sighed.