In the Wake of the War

Chapter-19

Subhadra insisted on coming to Dwarka with him and of course, Arjun couldn't deny her. As much as he would like to be alone till he got to Madhav, Subhadra had every right to go meet both her brothers.

In the chariot, Subhadra tried to engage him in conversation, but Arjun found himself sticking to short, one worded replies. Subhadra caught on to his mood soon enough and fell mostly silent for the rest of the ride, only lacing her hand through his. He was grateful for the contact.

Arjun felt particularly glad that since he hadn't been sleeping with either of his wives recently, he didn't have to explain anything regarding his nightmares.

Though they travelled through the whole night, Arjun didn't find a wink of sleep even as Subhadra fell asleep against his shoulder. Thankfully, he didn't need to sleep.

The whole of the next day was quiet as well and they stopped only for food and to give rest to the horses.

As the next dawn approached and they neared Dwarka, Arjun looked up at the rising sun. He knew it was not good for one's eyes to look at the Sun even in the lack of brightness at dawn and dusk(unless of course, you were Karna and now the man being able to just stare at the Sun without blinking made sense), but he just couldn't help it.

Was their brother with his Father? He had to be. What did he think of the whole thing about Vrishaketu? He probably hated Arjun even more for making his only remaining son cry.

Arjun turned his eyes away as the doors of Dwarka seemed to open on their own and--of course, of course Madhav was already standing at the city gates, waiting for them. 

Arjun felt a weak smile tugging at his lips as he gently shook his wife awake.

Once they descended from the chariot, Subhadra threw herself at Madhav in a tight embrace and then as they rode till the Palace with Madhav, she chattered non-stop with her brother, causing him and Arjun to exchange fond glances over her head. 

Just for a while, the pain seemed to recede.

Once Subhadra went to look for Bal-Dau, Madhav took one look at Arjun's drooping face and dragged him straight to his personal chambers.

"Well go on, don't make me wait." He said, waving a hand at Arjun.

Arjun blinked. "What?"

"You're upset. You came to visit. Took you long enough, I might add." Madhav said significantly. "But now that you're here, go on."

Arjun looked down, gulping.

"I feel like a monster, Madhav."

 "....What?" 

 "My nephew thinks I am going to kill him even after the war has ended..." 

 Madhav listened in silence.

"It's just. Vrishaketu fought in the war. He saw the horrors of war. He wasn't afraid then. But now... now he fears me. Despite being an excellent archer, he was afraid enough of me, that he accidentally let an arrow lose. That just doesn't happen to trained archers." Arjun said desperately.

"He will need time to recover, Parth."

"Yes, I know that but. But watching him be so afraid of me.... it's like...  it breaks my heart." Arjun sighed.

Madhav looked at him carefully. 

"He reminds you of Abhimanyu, doesn't he?" he asked quietly.

Arjun's bowed head snapped up. "What? No--Why-- why would you think that, no that's not the reason. It's simply that he's a child and I have caused him so much pain in a war caused by things that were no fault of his in any way and now he fears me."