Loki Misses the Asgardian Prison System

Chapter 125

"I don't know," Loki says sheepishly. "I thought that maybe you just... missed me."

"Oh, darling," Frigga murmurs, "I did come because I missed you. I'd assumed you'd want to talk, but if you want to stay here and hug, I will hold you as long as you'd like."

"So you didn't come to talk about anything specific?" Loki asks, a tinge of hope in his voice. "Nobody sent you here to...?"

"Nobody sent me anywhere," Frigga assures him. "I just wanted to see my son, and Thor and I finally convinced your father to allowed me to."

Loki sniffles again and wipes the tears from his face. It's only then that he sees himself, and his eyes go wide. He'd forgotten he looked like this. He hadn't realized he's been standing before his mother as a monster. How she didn't push him away, he doesn't know. Immediately, he changes his form back to the one she knows; the one he's pretended was real for years despite now knowing otherwise. Maybe his mother will forget what she saw. At the very least, maybe she'll pretend...

"Loki..." She reaches out, gently cupping his cheek in her hand. "You don't need to change who you are for me."

"Really?"

It's such a stupid response. He knows it's a stupid response. But he just can't imagine... She saw what he looks like, what he really looks like, and she still loves him the same? Even Thor recoiled in horror when he first laid eyes on him this afternoon, and yet his mother doesn't care?

"Really," she says. "You're my son, and I love you — all of you — no matter what form you may take."

Loki gives her a small smile, and hesitantly, he allows his true form to shine through again. Frigga's only response is to rub his cheek with her thumb, a small smile on her lips that makes his heart sing.

"Do..." Loki wipes his eyes again. "Do you want to sit?"

"I think that's a good idea," Frigga says. "I'd like to think I'll be here for a long while."

That's a reassurance that he didn't even know he needed until he heard it. He doesn't have to rush this. His mother isn't going to disappear in a moment, pulled away for other commitments. She's here to stay, at least for a while. That's all he wants.

They sit down on the edge of Loki's bed, and Frigga puts an arm around his shoulders, holding him to her. He almost feels like a child again, sitting here in her arms. He wishes he was a child again. It was a simpler time.

"How are you?" Frigga asks. "How has Midgard been to you?"

There's so much Loki wants to say. He could answer those questions in so many different ways. He could go on for hours and hours on end.

But the only words that come out of his mouth are, "I want to go home."

And then he's crying, again, and he feels like he's always crying, but he can't help it. Frigga doesn't mind; she just pulls him in closer, letting him bury his face into her chest and gently rubbing his back and she even kisses the top of his head, too, just like she did when he was young; just like she did when he deserved it. And he doesn't deserve this and he knows he doesn't deserve it, but he doesn't care. He just wants his mother, and, for the first time in years, he finally gets what he wants.

"It's alright," she says softly. "You're alright."

"But I'm not," he sobs. "I'm not alright. These have been the worst years of my life and I've had no one to talk to. I've been all alone and I can't..." He trails off helplessly.

"Oh, darling, I'm so sorry," she murmurs. "I wish I could have come sooner. I'd thought that with Thor..."

"Thor doesn't count," Loki mumbles against her gown. "He doesn't understand. He's never understood. Not like you."