In Too Deep (Dancing With The Shadows)

seven

Sometimes he gets these urges to jump out the window and hope the fall is big enough, but he is always quick to click back into the right mindset and tell himself that that is insane.

Right now is one of those times and he shivers at the thought of his body broken in the gravel below, just thinking of the way his body would thump and shift all the stones away with a crunch is enough to make him feel nauseous.

He takes a few deep breaths to calm himself.

Peter kisses Louis' temple. "Your mother just needs some time to realise that it wasn't your fault, Louis. And if she never does, you still have me, yeah? I will always love you, because you're the boy I've always wanted to have. You're funny, kind, strong and brave and nothing you do will ever change that."

Louis should feel comforted by those words. But the statement of you're the boy I've always wanted to have brings a sour taste onto his tongue.

He can't let these thoughts win over. He won't. He shan't.

"Maybe getting out the house will help, hm? I came up here to get you to go food shopping as we're missing a few bits. Ask Harry if he needs anything from the shop before you go, he's probably running low on a few things as well," Peter murmers, giving Louis a light squeeze in a way of a hug.

Ah.

Yeah.

Harry.

Louis almost forgot he was here. After a few days ago where he never showed up at the pool, he hasn't seen Harry since. He doesn't even know if he's still here he's that quiet. Maybe he fled as soon as he realised Louis wouldn't give him any sort of peace or space as he kept following him around like a sheep to its shepherd.

So Louis has taken extra precautions not to disturb the boy. He takes a different route to take Clifford for a walk, going through the woods at the back of the meadows instead of the ones near the stables. He's completely avoided the pool as well, though he wishes he could've gone for a dip a few times, he instead just takes a few more cold showers during the day to stop his balls from chafing.

It's a delightful image, really.

Louis heaves a sigh and nods, wiping his drying eyes. "Alright. What is it you need?"

Peter pats Louis' thigh and stands. "I've got a list in the kitchen for you. Add whatever Harry wants onto it. It isn't too long, but Mabel was going to make some Jamaican style chicken or something so needs a few spices.

Louis begins to get up then, Clifford crawling into his space and licking his bare back. Louis grimaces at the feeling and pushes the pup away before rubbing his belly and blowing raspberries into his fur.

It brings a small smile onto Louis' face which he is thankful for.

He quickly puts on a band tee, the top reaching just above the hems of his white shorts. He skips down the stairs with Clifford deciding to go along after him, before spotting the back door open and charging out to most likely go and find Jamie.

Louis shoves his sliders on, grabs the shopping list from the kitchen and walks over toward the cottage.

He doesn't know why he feels nervous. It's just asking Harry if he's running low on anything. It's not like he's asking for a whole fucking life story.

But the way that he's been deliberately avoiding Harry the past few days because Harry clearly deliberately stood him up, so to speak, when they were meant to go to the pool, he just feels as though there will be some awkwardness there.