HAZARDOUS ✷ Lookism.

𝐗𝐗. the accident

together, they lived a life on the edge, barely holding on to what made them as human as they could get. the kils grew tangled up with big deal, a family that they could actually love, with people that didn't bring heartache to their lives. sinu han had so graciously extended his home, not caring who or why the kils chose to join.

and the kil family's love grew bearable, too. it became a hollow emptiness that settled upon their bones, a whisper of dying grace that left their bloody bodies as their father gave his love so endlessly upon them. 'i love you's like the crackling of a whip, staining upon their skin like ribbons of flesh. it all became dull, meaningless.

even their mother's cold love grew calloused but void, dying out like a flame in wintertime. her lust for a love she could no longer obtain consumed her whole, and it released like a dam on the only beings she could never wholly love — the creations that had left her womb so long ago, creatures so hideous that her lips would never utter the words 'my children' to.

though her frail fingers could not inflict much pain upon them, her words will forever haunt the kil siblings in their nightmares. at least, she did not completely desert them, but her apologies meant nothing when her fingers curled around empty bottles and hurled themselves at her children's heads, screaming and crying her eternal regrets of giving birth to such evil beasts, reincarnations of a husband she too had suffered at the hands of.

the kil siblings learned of a warm love. a love that was jake kim, samuel seo, sinu han, big deal. a strand of hope that did not stain their fingers red, nor clung at their throats until it grew hard to breathe. it was big deal that restored kil deok-su and kil deok-ja

if only they had known. the mistakes that would lead to their downfall, the destruction that their goodwill would reap.

the endings that the kil family would set upon big deal, that fateful day.

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‎THOUGH THEIR MOTHER OFTEN YELLED AT THEM, the kil siblings weren't afraid of her. how could they be afraid of such a finished woman, so frail and small, who only mimicked the love she had received?

but that didn't mean they loved her. deok-su, especially, did not love his mother. he may have preferred her crazed temper over his father's beatings, but their love was one in the same.

deok-su could only love his poor sister, a foolish girl that still craved for a mother's embrace despite the damage that woman had done to her. the girl that he so deeply cherished, enough to commit sins grave enough to be haunted by.

deok-su had often been told he grew up far too fast for a fourteen-year-old. it was inevitable, when he was born with the mind of an adult, so filled with worry that he could not enjoy his childhood — one he never had, he should add. though samuel seo brought back what little childhood he had left, the bruises and scars never exactly left.

above all things or people, kil deok-su loved kil deok-ja the most. even in birth, they were together, and in the moments when they were apart, they wailed to be in each other's presence. a bond deeper than the blood they shared, entertaining their lives together far more than the umbilical cord that tied them to them woman who made them.

that bond had been easily severed, they both knew well.

it was a given that his soul would ache whenever he saw the child he was supposed to protect (his brotherly duty he swore to adhere to on the day his eyes first met with the child he shared a birthday with) covered in purples, blues, and blacks that weren't new clothes he promised to someday buy her.

deok-su loved deok-ja far more than he loved himself. and that love, so tumultuous and unwavering, blurred right from wrong, sin from virtue.

so grand that he would uproot entire countries and go back on his sworn word to never kill if it was for kil deok-ja. because he was his one and only light; after all, it is a dying star that emits the brightest light, and like the black hole he was, he yearned to forever be by her blinding side.