Counting Stars - Aonung x Neteyam

Part 1

- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'll go back to bed, forgive me. I didn't mean that, I'm not a soldier, I'm fine. I'm here, mom, I'm fine. - She slowly put her arms around me and pulled me tight against her. Even though I was almost taller than her, I would never feel like anything but a child when I was with her. Even more so when she wrapped her arms around me like this as if there was no other place I should be.

- I can't lose you again... My Neteyam... - she whispers against my hair, stroking my back.

- I'm not going anywhere, I promise, I'm here, I'm fine. - I replied softly.

I don't know how long we stayed like this, but I felt some tears wet my shoulder and I had never felt so guilty. She didn't deserve this. She had sacrificed everything to keep our family safe, I was acting like an idiot.

- I'm sorry. - I repeated after a while. She stepped back and grabbed my face with both hands.

I looked at her feeling that she was no longer angry but somehow that was worse. I stayed there; I would do it as long as she needed to feel safe again. It had been my fault and I would never forgive myself if I hurt her again. - I'll go back to bed. - I ended up saying without wanting to make the situation worse.

She pulled away from me and looked at me without an expression to let me know what she was thinking. I stayed there; I would do it as long as she needed to feel safe again. It had been my fault and I would never forgive myself if I hurt her again. - I'll go back to bed. - I ended up saying without wanting to make the situation worse.

She pulled away from me and looked at me without any expression that I knew, that would let me know what she was thinking. She put her forehead on mine and closed her eyes, her hands ended up on my cheeks.

I felt my chest tighten and I had to make an effort to hold in my feelings long enough not to cry. Before I knew it, Tuk was near the door shouting something I didn't understand. She gave me a kiss on the forehead and walked out the door, answering my little sister. I stood there for a while, trying to get the horrible feeling out of my chest.

I went back to bed and didn't ask again about going out. I didn't fall asleep as quickly this time, but my body thanked me for being still. She was right, I needed to rest.

Aonung knew no other way. His father had raised him to be the best, the first and the smartest. He had not given him many opportunities to make mistakes and he was definitely not the most open-minded man you could meet. Therefore, his idea about his future was always clear. He had a plan that he had to follow and within that plan was security. The security that he would never be alone, that his family would be safe and that his tribe would never want for anything.

Anything outside of that plan was dangerous and not just for him, but for everything that constituted his life. Since the demons from heaven had arrived, plans for the future were made with care.

They were not left undone of course, but they were made with more caution. Because the reality was that you never knew if this was going to be your last day of peace. If perhaps one of those horrible and cruel dwarves would take a fancy to something of your tribe and take it away from you by force.

That was his father's way of thinking, so it was also his way of thinking. It was normal, anyone who knew the hierarchy of a family knew that parents were the first to teach their prejudices to their children.

And anyone who knew Aonung knew that he was not the most perfect son. That's why no one would be surprised in the future when he chose someone so unlikely to make a bond. That future he did not yet know, his present was more complicated. For that moment there was a lot left, first the boy had to realize that this feeling of not being like the others was real. That in effect he was nothing like his brothers or tribe mates.