A Girl Named Sam

Chapter 15

"Would it be all right if I called Robby?"

Robby was my older brother. He lived in Colorado so we didn't get to see much of each other, but we were still very close. He was always the first person I wanted to talk to when I was going through something like this. I also thought I might be able to sneak a call to Sam if i got a few minutes of privacy. I was almost afraid to even think this, though, worried my mother could somehow read my thoughts.

She opened the door and looked down at me skeptically. I tried to put as much sincerity and innocence into my gaze as i possibly could.

"You better not be lying to me, Raiden." she warned me in a tone bleeding threats. I gulped.

"I'm not," I murmured. She handed me her phone relucantly. I avoided her gaze as I took it and walked away 

I pushed my luck by going out onto the back patio and closing the door behind me. I waited there for a moment, expecting my mom to barge in after me, demanding I have my conversation in public. But fortunately, she didn't. 

I dialed my brother's number from memory. It rang three, four, five times and I almost hoped he wouldn't answer. I just felt like I had to try so technically, I wasnt lying.

"Hello?" He answered on the sixth ring. 

"Hey Rob," I sighed but was glad to hear his voice. Maybe it would be nice to talk to him.

"Hey. What's up?" Ain't that a loaded question...

The story fell out of my mouth in a rush. I started from saturday morning at the mall, went through the rest of that day and night, and ended with mom and dad's disconcerting behavior of late. His advice was comforting, as it always was. I felt better when the conversation was over.

"If you'd like, I'll talk to Mom about you coming out to visit me soon."

"i would really like that. Thanks, bro. I appreciate you talking to me."

"Anytime, Raiden. Hang in there."

"I'll do my best," I replied weakly. "Love you."

"I love you too. Bye."

"Bye." I pressed 'end' and looked down at the phone nervously. My heart began to pound as I dialed Sam's number, anxiously looking over my shoulder to make sure neither of my parents were going to come out here anytime soon.

I put the phone to my ear when I was sure I'd be alone for at least a few more minutes. It rang twice before Sam answered.

"Hello?" She sounded a little hesitant, undoubtedly because she didn't recognize the number, but I breathed a sigh of relief when I heard her voice. I had forgotten how much I missed it...

"Hey sweetie..." The greeting came out more shaky than I intended.

"Raiden?" she asked softly, surprised.

"Mhmm.." I murmured in reply. "How are you, love? Is everything okay?"

"Uh, yeah," She said shortly, and her tone of voice made me uneasy.

"Are-- are you sure?" I prodded gently, unconvinced.

"Yeah." I didnt believe her, but I didn't push it further. Instead, I changed the subject. 

"It's...it's really good to hear your voice, Sam," I whispered.

"You too," she replied. There was so little feeling in her voice that tears welled in my eyes. What was going on? I was starting to become alarmed. 

"What's wrong sweetheart?" I asked gently. "You dont sound like yourself..."

"I've just been thinking, Raiden," she replied coldly. "That's all."

"About what..?"

She breathed out a long heavy sigh and it made me nervous. I closed my eyes and braced myself for whatever was coming.

"I don't think this is gonna work out." 

I felt my heart drop into my stomach and my mind start to reel. Wasn't that a classic break-up line? She couldn't be breaking up with me, could she? Had I done something wrong?

I couldn't form words for several moments. When  was able, I couldn't choke out any more than "Baby...what do you mean?" i felt i lump rise in my throat as I spoke.

"I don't think we should be together anymore."

I became suddenly sick to my stomach. Why was she doing this? I couldn't understand. 

"Why?" I whispered feebly, a single tear running down my cheek.

"It's just all too much, Raiden..." she replied with a heavy sigh. "Everything that's happened recently, all the drama with your parents...I mean, we're not even gonna be able to see each other. It's just all too stressful, and I can't handle it." There was a moment of silence, so many unspoken thoughts and feelings hanging in the air between us. When I didn't  respond, Sam added a quiet "I'm sorry."

"Please..." I begged, closing my eyes tightly, pushing out more tears. "Don't do this."

"I'm sorry, Raiden," she said again, and I couldn't tell if she meant it. "It's for the best."

I strongly disagreed, but I didn't have the strength to argue with her. I began to sob quietly.

She was silent, and I muttered a muffled, "Sorry," embarrassed.

"It's alright...I expected you to cry..."

It took everything I had in me not to burst into hysterics on the spot; I had humiliated myself enough already. 

My heart was shattering inside me. I had strength enough to only sputter out a few more words.

"If...if you ever change your mind, I'll be here. I'll always take you back."

She was quiet for a moment. Then she said a final, "Bye, Raiden."

And with that, she was gone.