A Good Joke

The Best Prank

'Hela'

'Anubis'

'Ereshkigal'

Then when that didn't work he started praying to the evil gods of every pantheon that he knew of. But no answer ever came.

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-4 months later-

By now he had run out of gods to pray to. He had already reached his breaking point and his mind had already shattered days before from all the suffering.

He began laughing manically while they tortured him. Laughing manically at night without stopping as he thought of the creative ways they'd torture him the next day, only to be bored as they used the same methods.

He had started seeing their cruel smile as a happy one and thought to himself:

'I should smile like that too. They seem so happy, I want to be happy too hahaha. I want to laugh like they laugh. I want to smile like they smile. I want to tell them good jokes like the one that happened to me. Ahh, but I also want them to tell me a good joke too. They never tell me any good jokes.'

At night when all the fun activity stopped, he started using the gods' names as a sort of countdown ritual until he falls asleep. The only name he now would pray to was Satella. She was the only one who was there for him in his dreams. Trying her best to comfort him.

Before Satella came along, he remembered how funny it was for him to pray and pray but no voice answered. They were playing a prank on him for sure. He didn't know when he started laughing at that.

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-6 months later-

Subaru now had become unordinarily calm. Nothing would faze him. When they'd come for him he would simply yawn or even pretend to doze off from the sheer boredom of it. He had experienced it all at this point.

Nothing would excite him. Even their cruel smiles had turned into frowns now, which did excite him for awhile. He even decided to joke with them to make them frown even more. It would be amusing for now at least. He had called this time 'Cracking open a funny one with the boys.', towards his two best buds. Julius and Felix.

He'd usually ask them for jokes but they would always just say the usual lines.

"Speak cultist! Tell me the cure for Crusch-sama and nyou will be out of here!" Felix spoke to him in a tired tone. He was getting really tired of this insolent archbishop who never told him the information he wanted.

"Hmmmmm~ but my good friend Ferris. I would really and I mean REAAAAAALLY~ miss your adorable presence and your loving touch~ Wouldn't you miss me too? Besides, those cute expressions of yours never fail to amuse me. Could you do a 'nya' for me? Maybe even a lick on the cheek? Oh hey, tell Crusch I said: "How's it hanging?", hahaha get it? Cause I'm hanging from the ceiling!" He sighed in satisfaction as he said his joke while his body was hanging upside down.

"Anyways, now it's your turn for a joke my good friend. Shoot your shot!" He winked at him. Making Felix very angry at the mere mention of his lady and how he's treating this as nothing.

Then it was Julius' turn.

"How long must this go on? Speak at once archbishop. Tell me what I wish to know and I will put an end to this. You have my word." Julius spoke to him.

"Tell ya what, Juli. Breaking my fingers but forgetting the nails is very rude, you know? Hey wait, I just had a million yen idea. When we have our friendly time each day, why don't you try breaking off some of my finger nails too? Long nails are pretty annoying when you try to eat or do other stuff, if you catch my drift. Help your best friend out, Jules." He said to Julius which made Julius' eyebrows tick in irritation and increase the force of his attacks until Subaru was nearly dead and needed immediate healing.