Our main character is named Garrison Lois IV, or Gary Lu for short. He lives in a universe where every fictional character and real life celebrity co-exist.
His looks do not need to be described to you, because in a way, he is you, the reader. You can relate to Gary in multiple different ways depending on the chapter you're reading... maybe. You might find him an annoying main character, if you do by the end of the story, I honestly wouldn't blame you. Fuck that guy.
Gary lives alone in a nice cozy house, not minding living alone. He's very hungry and decides to make some dinner. He really likes eating beef stroganoff. He likes it so much, he can eat a whole box raw and he frequently snorts the powder and puts it in his milk like it's Nesquik™.
Gary Lu begins to cook the stroganoff and the beef. The smell attracts Shrek over to his home.
Shrek: Oh, hello there! Can I have some beef stroganoff?
Shrek breaks into Gary's house via his window, which Shrek breaks through with his bare hands.
Gary: Hell no, this is MY beef stroganoff! Get your own, Sherk!
Shrek: Please? I need to feed my pregnant wife, SpongeBob!
Gary: Tell her she and her sponge ogre hybrid baby can starve cause you ain't gettin' shit!
Shrek begins getting very angry.
Shrek: You know what, ya little bitch?! I didn't want your undercooked stroganoff anyways!
Gary: My stroganoff isn't undercooked!
Shrek: Remember when you brought a pot of it to SpongeBob's coming out as trans party? That shit was like glass. Like you tried cooking it in ice.
Gary: You know what, Srhek? Get out of my swamp!
Shrek: Touche, Gary. But I'll be back!
A day later, Shrek comes back with SpongeBob and Nurse Joy. Shrek is in a polyamorous relationship (Good for him) and both of his wives are not happy with Gary and come to bargain for his stroganoff.
Gary: Bruh, I told you to never come near my house! You're lucky I don't know how to file a restraining order or else I'd have you sent 20 houses down!
Shrek: Can we at least have the cold leftovers? We both know no one is eating cold ass stroganoff that loses its moisture when it's cooked.
Gary: No! I actually like it when it's reheated!
SpongeBob: I'll give you a tray of my famous blue cheese lasagna if you give us the pot of stroganoff!
Gary: Wait, why don't you guys just eat that?
SpongeBob: I'm lactose intolerant. bahahaha. (Spunchbop laugh)
Gary: Well guess what? I don't like lasaga!
Shrek and Nurse Joy le gasp.
Nurse Joy: How dare you! Lasagna is the best food besides beef stroganoff. Everyone knows that!
Gary: THEN WHY DON'T YOU JUST EAT THAT!
Nurse Joy: Skamtboard
Gary: Oh, okay. I see now.
SpongeBob: What about, I give you Paramore's greatest hits on vinyl if you give us the stroganoff?
Gary: Nah, the greatest hits don't even got Franklin, the best Paramore song, on it!
Nurse Joy: That's a good point.
Shrek: This is your final chance! If you don't give us the pot of stroganoff, we'll call on our friends and get it by force!
Gary: NEVER!
Shrek: Okay... your funeral...
Shrek, Sponglobow and Nurse Joy leave through the window Shrek smashed last night.
Gary: Good riddance! Wait... by force?! This is no good! I need to get people to help me fight back against them. Shrek is powerful even by himself, but with ALL his friends?! This might be a possible war in the making!
